Wonderland (2013) s03e04 Episode Script


You guys should move back into your place.
Well, the thing is there is a new job on the table.
But you still need somewhere to live.
The work is in Jakarta.
Your mum paid for my abortion.
You wanted her gone the whole time.
My name is Steve and I'm the mate who had to pick up the pieces.
What happened tonight, man.
Not cool.
Where are you going? Home.
Home? To the vineyard.
And when I get back, I want you gone.
Nice hug, no sex.
People will think we've been married for years.
Grace? It is you! Oh, God, Joel! How are you? Good.
Hi! My God.
It's been Five years.
At least.
Um What are you? What am I doing up here? Sorry, finishing your sentences.
I know you hate people doing that.
Any excuse to get away from Canberra for the weekend.
You you look fantastic! Thank you! So do you! Are you still? Still lobbying the halls of power, yeah.
And you? Defamation.
Stopping the bad guys from getting called bad guys.
How's how's Joanna? She passed away two years ago.
Oh, God, Joel.
I'm so I'm so sorry.
It was pretty rough.
Can I get you a refill? Yeah, yeah, sure.
That would be great.
Thank you.
Oh, my God! Those days, they feel like a million years ago.
They do.
Do you want to get lunch tomorrow? Sure.
Yeah, I can't think of a good reason why not.
Do I get to meet your husband, or Um, yeah.
No, no, no.
I think he's going to be busy tomorrow.
I mean That's fine.
I know what you mean.
What? Do you think our timing sucks? When you were single in Canberra, I was married and now I'm single, you're married.
Can we put some noodles in? No, noodles are carbs.
What, even those little soba jobbies? Yep.
But this is just water! It's clear broth and it's delicious.
You can add a squeeze of lemon, if you like.
Oh, why don't we go crazy while we're at it? No bread, no potatoes, no pasta, no rice, no bread.
Did I mention no bread? It's too hard! Well, you don't have to do it if you don't want to do it.
We're in this together.
I will be strong.
I will be Mr Pure.
That's me.
Thank you.
Something smells amazing.
Smells can be deceiving.
How was your conference? Interesting.
Bumped into an old friend at the drinks.
Male friend? Hm.
Hey, I just wanted to ask, have you had a chance to do that stat dec for Immigration yet? Oh, no.
Sorry! Can I give it to you before dinner tomorrow night? Yeah, that would be great.
Just remember it's a legal document, so don't write anything that you are not comfortable with.
I can make you two sound happily married without bending the truth at all.
Oh, OK.
I've still got a stack of paper work to do so I better get going.
See you.
See you.
See you.
You're late.
Did you have scooter duty? Studying.
I've got a term assignment due before the study break.
I need you to give me a hand with this.
You told me to leave it with you.
Yeah, no, I did, it's just here in your answers about how we met, did you have to mention the multiple sexual encounters in the bushes after the wedding? You told me details were important.
Yeah, not those details.
We met at a wedding, that's enough.
Well, how am I supposed to know which details are important? I thought the intimate ones Should remain intimate.
Yeah, and you got a lot of the dates wrong too.
No, I don't.
Yeah, you do.
I don't.
We went to the mountains for the weekend on the 14th, not the 21st.
Well, people remember things differently, so True, but you're not a time lord so can you change this, please? OK.
How was your conference? Lovely, thank you.
So you'll change it and print it out? OK, I'll fix the date.
February 14.
It's Valentine's Day.
What? Hmm? Nothing.
Thanks for the lift.
It's the only time I get to see you.
Well, that's the restaurant trade.
It's lunch, dinner, late nights.
It's the nature of the beast.
I hate that beast.
Is there any chance that I might? It's late.
I'm wrecked.
I'll give you a foot massage.
Oh, nice, but what about tomorrow? Hmm? I've got the day off.
Whole day? Whole day.
Er Hm.
Unless you've got other plans.
I've just got to get a blind for Mum.
And that has to be tomorrow? Well, I've been putting it off for weeks and I kind of arranged with Miranda.
What kind of blind is it? Um, it's Is it a .
a Venetian? Er Or maybe, ah, it's a Roman? Oh, no, it's vertical.
I suppose one more day won't hurt.
Yes! What about your mum? She's away.
She won't even know.
Tomorrow is for us.
We had this best ever drunken pash at a Christmas party once.
What if Joel Henderson is the one? When I married Carlos, I knew there was a chance of something like this happening.
But we have very strict rules.
No taking your wedding ring off, no bringing other people home, no public displays of affection and no telling anyone our marriage isn't real.
Wow! I made those rules.
I can't break them.
I know what you can do.
What? Tell Joel Henderson that you're up for an affair.
What?! Yeah, you are a married woman but you're A slut?! You're in an open marriage.
You're a powerful woman in control.
So not me! Well, what are you going to do? Be celibate for the next six months? You guys heading out for the day? Yeah.
All set? Yeah.
Oh, ta.
Alright, let's roll.
Oh, we did say we'd get your mum's blind done today.
Yes, we did.
Which means heading to the shops at some point.
It does.
I thought you'd be tied up with the weasel.
Hello? Hi.
Sorry, can you just What? I saw Max yesterday.
We've got no plans.
Busy, is he? Anyway, I made time today because you promised your mum you would get it done.
Yeah, before she gets home, but she's not back yet.
Well, today is best for me.
Tomorrow not so good.
OK, yes.
Um I'm going to have to go.
What? Why? It's an emergency at work.
Well, can't someone else fix it? Apparently not.
We'll just We'll talk later? When? I'll call you.
So I guess the blind is back on the agenda? Where did you go swimming? Did some laps.
You should join the swim club if you're looking to pick up.
Lots of fit women in swim caps.
Thanks for the tip.
You heard anything from your mum? No.
I know why she did a runner to the vineyard, though.
Why's that? Oh, it's because of a fight we had over Sasha.
Any idea when she might be back? Past form, best she can manage is about a week.
Past form? Whenever things go wrong, she runs to Dad.
Always has, always will.
Alright, that's all I need, I reckon.
See you in a bit.
I've got a great idea, to celebrate the reclaiming of our cave.
Nude day.
What?! We spend the day nude.
You're nuts? Swinging in the breeze as nature intended.
No, no, YOU'RE nuts.
There is no way I'm doing that.
Come on, it will be fun! How?! Because it's us and baby, we are hot.
And primal, oh yeah.
Hot and hot.
Gonna get it! You are nuts! What are you doing? Put your clothes back on! Oh, my God! Only us! Hey.
Dad's going home.
Yeah, time to hit the road.
Er Come in! Steve is just watching ball sports.
Hey, mate.
Have a seat.
Come on, Miranda! Ooh.
That's Tom.
I'll see you tonight.
I'll see you before you go, Dad.
Yeah, yeah.
OK, bye.
So you really are leaving? Mm.
Heading off this arvo.
Guess it's been good staying with Maggie Keeping you company.
You'll miss her when you go back.
Very much.
Miranda, where are you off to? We're on a blind date.
We're buying a blind for Maggie.
I haven't seen you for a few days.
I was just hoping to catch up.
Yeah, I've got to do this.
Are you avoiding me? Why would I be avoiding you? I don't know.
Maybe the drugs or Jakarta.
Your pick.
Actually, I was going to come round yesterday but Oh, well, I got sidetracked.
Tonight then? It's FAT night tonight.
Do you do you want to come? That would be great.
Well, I'll see you then.
He's not busy anymore? No.
But I am.
You were right about our timing.
It sucks.
Such is life.
Sometimes, life isn't exactly what it appears to be.
What do you mean? I have an unconventional marriage.
In what way? In the sort of way that it's OK to see other people kind of way.
See other people as in See them.
How does that work? It's been a theoretical position thus far.
Meaning you haven't You'd be the first.
Oh, no.
I've embarrassed you.
No, no, no.
I'm just a little surprised.
When you were living in Canberra, you were sort of famous for your 10-date rule.
It was only ever a five-date rule.
How famous? Just No, don't Don't even It doesn't matter.
Just forget that I said anything.
Um Do you want a coffee? Sure.
You're supposed to be gone! I just wanted to see you first.
I gave you a week.
Look, Maggie, what happened Shouldn't have happened.
I am not the cheating wife.
I am not.
I am married! But but maybe .
maybe your marriage has run its course.
Think of all the pain.
I'm prepared to risk it.
I'm not.
Maggie .
I missed you.
You think Warwick doesn't miss me? Why can't you put yourself first? We did the right thing last time when the kids were little, remember? Last time? A quick shag up against a wall is not a basis for a relationship.
But it feels right now.
You tell me it doesn't .
and I'll go.
Hey! Hey.
How's it going? Is that a Gino's pizza? Gino's special.
Let me carry that for you.
Tragedy to drop something like this.
Smells amazing! It's goats cheese.
Want a slice? There's plenty.
No, I can't.
Extra cheese.
Extra pepperoni.
Probably can't get through it all on my own.
So I I'd be doing you a favour then.
Well, maybe I'll just have this little slice here.
Actually, those two ones, they go together.
Ohhh! So good! Just want to kiss your lips.
When they say debone the fish with tweezers, I don't think they mean eyebrow ones.
Yuck! Yeah and they're brand-new.
No, no, no, no.
What? I told you it was nude day.
Not around the food! What if someone should walk in? How are you going to explain that one? I don't know.
Gone native, whatever.
You should try this.
It's totally liberating.
No! When you say no do you actually mean yes? No.
Meaning yes? No.
You don't know what you're missing out on.
I think I'll survive.
Beer? No, thanks.
Meaning yes? No.
Think I might go and watch some more ball sports.
Alright, well, sit on your sarong.
I don't want your bat wings on the couch.
Prude! It was good to see you and Cal bonding before.
I wouldn't go that far.
No? No.
Meaning yes? Sit on the sarong, please.
I can hear your mind ticking.
I was calculating how insensitive it is to ask you something.
That's piqued my interest.
Did you sleep with Warwick when you were up there? Do you really expect me to answer that? No, I didn't.
And you You are very beautiful.
There's a lot to be said for fading eyesight.
He has always said no strings attached.
Everything is casual.
You know, free agents.
So I don't have to make some formal announcement that it's over, do I? No.
I mean it's not like we're exclusive so it doesn't make a difference.
Is he going to be there tonight? Yeah, he said he would.
Is that going to be a problem? Not for me.
Fair enough.
You should ask Sasha tonight.
Seriously? Yeah, what? Just because last week Was a disaster? Yeah, but she stayed the night.
She did, yes.
She did.
Well, ask her and we'll all make a special effort.
I think she would really appreciate that.
Her life is nothing but work at the moment.
She needs to hang out with us more.
I'll give her a call.
Ah-ah! After I have hung the blind.
Do you remember that night we went skinny-dipping in the lake? Oh, the tequila night.
Well, only the guys went in.
Girls don't skinny-dip.
Only guys do.
They do in the movies.
Yeah, but Ooh, ooh, hold on.
Ow! Here, let me help! Ow! Hold still.
Hold still, hold still.
Let go.
There we go.
I left my boardies in the car.
I would kill for a swim.
Do you want to join me? Yeah, I just need to change.
So, should I stay here? No, I'm not that far away.
So? It's OK.
Come on.
I was about to go to Mum's.
How's the emergency? It's fixed.
Where is Miranda? Out.
Do you want to come to dinner tonight? Is that your regular thing? Yeah.
It's at Dani and Steve's.
Seriously? Steve will not be a dick this time, I promise.
I can handle Steve.
So you'll come? Hmm.
I don't think so.
Why not? It's the girls.
Girls? Hmm.
You've you've got history there.
And I just don't like walking in to unknown territory.
What do you want to know then? Everything.
Um You.
and Miranda? Flatmates.
I have known her since we were kids.
Was it ever anything more? Miranda and I? No.
She's like family.
We were an item for a while.
And why did you split up? She wanted more.
Then she met Rob and he swept her off her feet.
But we've stayed friends.
You and Grace.
I can honestly say there has never been anything between me and Grace except good times and bad lasagne.
Dani, ditto.
She fell for Steve before I had a chance to work my charms.
That's it.
So, you want to come? No.
Why? Because you haven't been straight with me, Tom.
I can read you like a book.
Always could.
Cool flat.
Yeah, sorry it's a bit of a mess! Are you kidding me? Compared to me, you're a neat freak! That's a bit much.
Who are you? Joel.
I'm an old friend of Grace's.
You must be I'm her husband.
Good to meet you.
We were just Well, we weren't We were changing.
I wasn't.
Grace? Carlos? It's not, it's nothing like that.
She's just dressing.
Dressing? I mean undressing for a swim.
I get the picture! You know, you've got some nerve, mister.
In the middle of the day?! What is that in your pants? What? That.
Yeah, you looked.
It means you're hot for her.
No, no, no.
I thought you were at uni.
Oh, what's up, wife? I came home early and I caught you with your boyfriend.
Oh, no, no, no.
This is not my boyfriend.
This is an old friend of mine.
That's true.
I'm just an old friend.
Hey, hey! I'm not talking to you, babaca.
I'm talking to my wife.
I'm just going to wait outside.
No, Joel, don't I'll be outside.
What the hell are you doing? I'm acting like a real husband would be.
So what, have we changed the rules now? No! I haven't changed anything.
You brought someone home and that's one of the rules.
OK, alright.
No, OK.
But it was just to change.
So did you tell him the truth? No! No.
I told him What?! It doesn't matter, alright.
I'm going to go out and I'm going to apologise to my friend and then have a swim.
Please, no more playacting! I am so sorry.
I think I might give the swim a miss.
No, Joel.
It's complicated.
Can we just pretend that that didn't happen? It's kind of impossible, given the angry Spanish guy.
Look, Grace, you're a great person.
I just really wish that Yeah, our timing didn't suck.
Me too.
It was fantastic seeing you again.
Give us a call next time you're in Canberra.
Oh, thank you so much for this.
I'll pay you back.
I thought you were on a no carbs thing? Yeah, well, when you fall, you fall hard.
I just I love bread.
Bread is my friend! I thought I was your friend.
Oi, we're back.
Coming! What's with the? He's celebrating us having the flat to ourselves.
Can't argue with science.
Dude, this is a play.
This is a set play.
See number 15? He is killing it.
Go! Shoot it! Yeah! Oh, dude, put some pants on! Urgh! I know you're in there.
I saw your car parked out front and I can hear you.
You're going to have to talk to me sooner or later, Mum.
I've got this blind to hang up for you.
If you don't open the door I'm just going to get my spare key and let myself in.
This is stupid.
I'm sorry, darling.
I'm not ignoring you.
I just had a little lie down.
Are you OK? You look a little bit red in the face.
Yeah, no, I'm fine.
It was just the long trip, you know.
Look, why don't you come back tomorrow, love? Whatever suits.
No, no, no.
I'm here now.
It will only take me a couple of seconds.
Um Mum, I'm here to do you a favour and to be honest, we need to start being a little nicer to each other.
Is Cal still here? Yeah, he's in the bathroom.
I heard he was leaving.
No, not yet.
How is Dad? Oh, same.
Yeah? Didn't think about dragging him back here for a bit? No.
Ah, should brighten the place up.
Miranda says it's closest to the one you showed her online.
What? Ah, done up crooked there, Cal.
Can't even dress myself.
You weren't? You were.
Cheers, mate.
Tom! Tom, I promise you, it's not how it looks.
You're not banging him? It won't happen again.
Yeah, because you got busted.
Because I don't want to hurt your father.
Does he know? No! Well, maybe he should, because you're having an affair.
Tom, I make mistakes.
Please, please keep this to yourself.
Let me fix it, please! What? You don't get to say another thing against Sasha because your whole moral high ground just collapsed.
You look like you need someone to put sunblock on your back.
Are you offering your services? Yes, I am.
Sunblock applier at your service.
It's applicator.
It's what? Sunblock applicator.
You know what? Applier works.
It doesn't matter.
Do you really like him? Yeah.
For a long time.
I'm sorry.
You are making a big sacrifice for me and I wreck it by being a jealous husband.
I shouldn't have brought him home.
I made the rules.
There is one thing that we need to be in agreement on on our forms.
How, when and where did I propose to you? No, no, no.
I proposed to you.
No, you didn't.
I popped the question! OK.
OK? Yeah.
I said no, turned you down flat.
And you were heartbroken, of course.
Of course! And then later, I knelt before you and I took your perfect little hand in mine .
and I looked into your beautiful blue eyes and I told you that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, that I wanted to look after you, that I wanted to love you with a love as deep as the ocean and as fiery as the sun.
Then I kissed you and you said yes and we made love for a whole weekend.
No, no, we'll go with that.
That's .
I was getting worried.
Yeah, I needed some time alone.
How was Tom? Angry, upset.
Everything you would expect him to be.
Want me to talk to him? I told him it was never going to happen again.
I mean it, Cal.
I can't do this anymore.
I won't.
Hey, listen I need you to leave.
I don't want to.
I don't want you to either but you are going to, because I'm not going to change my mind.
You have to leave.
What is it, Tom? Is it so scarring to know that Mummy still has a sex life? No, it's not that! It's just my dad.
I just needed someone to talk to.
Well, why not tell Miranda.
It's her father, isn't it? Mum wants to keep it quiet, obviously.
Anyway, she says it's over.
I really want you to come tonight.
I'll tell you everything that you want to know, if that's what it takes.
I honestly think that that would be very good for both of us.
Thank you.
Tell me about you and Dani.
You really can read me like a book.
But an interesting one with really pretty pictures.
So Steve and I, we shared the flat Mm-hm.
and we rented out the spare room.
Dani moved in when Steve was away.
So you did have time to work your charms.
Two dates.
Sex? Yes.
And it was a lot of fun but we both knew it was going nowhere.
And then Steve came home and they fell in love and the rest is history.
Does Steve know? Dani and I agreed that there was probably no point in telling him.
It was just sex.
Would he have taken it badly? He would never have got together with Dani if he had known.
So clean and straight! So you'll come? Of course.
One stat dec.
Signed by me and witnessed by Rob.
Thank you.
See you tonight.
"I don't know a couple more in love, "more willing to sacrifice anything for one another.
"They make each other better, happier people.
" Nice piece of creative writing.
You don't want to read it? No, no.
I'll read it later.
Hey, I think you might have an idea why I hung around as long as I did.
Yeah, I think I might.
You wanted to make the point you weren't going anywhere when things were getting tough and I was giving you a pretty hard time, so .
I appreciate that.
Sorry for being so harsh.
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! The late Miranda Beaumont, ladies and gentlemen.
Keep in touch, Dad.
Nice to see you've put some clothes on.
Call me when you land, OK? I wanted to catch you before you went upstairs.
To say? Just that I don't think we should prolong the inevitable.
Death? It's been fun but we've always been casual, right? And you're going to Jakarta in a couple of weeks, so So you want to stop now? Well, it makes sense.
Well, it doesn't make as much sense as keeping it on until I go, but .
if that's what you want? Yeah, I do.
So dinner might be a bit awkward then? Well, you can still come up, if you want to.
The salmon is perfectly cooked, Dani.
Thank you! Couldn't agree more.
There are no bones.
I hate bones in fish.
It does help them swim, though.
Bread, Robert? No thanks, mate.
I am Mr Pure.
Ah, of course you are.
What's going on? Rob? I may have had a little lapse today.
I just had one slice of bread.
You borrowed half a loaf! You what?! It just happened.
So, Dad left this afternoon.
Yeah, cheers to the old man.
He's lifted his game lately.
Yeah, I'm going to miss him being around.
Tom was pretty quiet tonight.
I thought Max was too.
You guys all good? I ended things with Max just before dinner.
So that explains why he looked so unhappy all night and then left early.
Tom told me today how much he values your friendship.
We both do.
Yeah, he said you are like his little sister.
Yeah, we're like family.
Colette and I can do this.
Oh, no, don't worry.
It's OK.
You must feel pretty low.
Yeah, yeah.
So Rob had a lapse.
Yeah, he crashed and burned.
It's so nice that you and Tom are still such good friends.
What do you mean? Well, you know, given the history.
Oh, girls, stop! We can do that when you go.
Are you sure? Yes, seriously.
OK, I'll leave you to it.
Hey, I should apologise for my behaviour last week.
Last week was last week.
Let's just move on.
You're right.
When you rake up the past, people can get hurt.
Truce? Sure.
Babe, please don't be angry with me.
I was trying really hard.
I just I'm not angry.
Maybe a bit.
Well, what is it then? I didn't want to put any pressure on you .
but the reason I wanted us to detox was so that maybe we could try to get pregnant again.
And this time, give our baby a better chance.
If we agree that that's what we both want.
Of course that's what we want.
From now on there is no bread.
I should have given you a heads up .
about Jakarta.
No, you didn't have to.
We were casual.
You don't owe me anything.
But you sound angry.
I did come to your place yesterday.
And I saw you with that girl.
My cleaner.
Your cleaner? You gave her a lift.
To the station.
Is that what this is about? You were allowed to see other people, I just figured if you were, then we may as well end it, that's all.
I'm not seeing anybody else.
Look, a few weeks is still a few weeks.
I'm not seeing anyone, you're not seeing anyone.
Why not make this a nice long goodbye? Officially exclusive, if that's what you want.
You're still awake.
I didn't mean to startle you.
No, that's OK.
News from home? A warning.
To keep my mouth shut.
To stay away.
When did this arrive? Last week.
It went to my old address.
Which means they don't know I'm living here.
I would never put you in any danger.
Are you in danger? Only if I go back to Brazil.
Alright, well, I think we need to change the rules then.
Hm? Well, the world needs to really believe that we are married so So? So it's not just not bringing people home.
I think we really can't be intimate with anyone else.
You would really do that for me? I know you think it's unnatural but I think it is the safest way.
OK? I just hope you don't end up hating me.
Thanks for coming tonight.
It was fun.
Yeah? I'm enjoying getting to know your friends better.
Now that you know all my secrets, maybe What? .
it's time you share some of yours.
You already know all of mine.