Xiaolin Showdown (2003) s02e03 Episode Script

The Shard of Lighting

Xiaolin Showdown.
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Xiaolin Showdown.
Stand on your marks.
Set yourselves.
Commence swift chores.
Gong Yi Tampai!
Third arm sash!
Lotus Twister!
Jet bootsu!
Yeah! Yee-hah!
Shroud of Shadows!
All done.
Excuse me.
Just because I'm not a
Xiaolin apprentice,
doesn't mean I should have
to wash your dirty dishes.
Come on, Raimundo.
The sooner we finish our chores,
the more time we have to hang.
Yes. Although I might choose
a different activity.
It's an expression, Omi.
I was looking for that.
Mm, nothing like
pizza for breakfast.
Ohh! Smudge,
you are no match
for my three arms.
Bees, you are also duly warned.
Hurry up, Clay, I'm done.
Me, too. I'm doner than a rack
of ribs at a Texas barbecue.
Now that we have mastered
the art of battle
and Raimundo's trapped
Wuya in a puzzle box,
perhaps chores are the only use
we'll have for the Shen Gong Wu.
It sure was a lot more fun when
we had someone to fight against.
Still waters may blanket the
greatest of unseen hazards.
There he goes again.
Can someone get me a translator?
Oh. That's where
those dishes went.
Overconfidence can be more dangerous
than a lack of confidence.
We kicked evil's butt.
Why can't we just kick
back for a while?
Stop everything!
Did you tell them about
the new Shen Gong Wu?
I was just about to.
The Shard of Lightning
is a most interesting
Shen Gong Wu.
It gives the user the power
to travel at the speed of light.
But only for short
flashes of time.
Let's go get that shard!
Oh, darn. Now I won't have
time to finish my dishes.
They will be here
when you get back.
My trusty detector bot will lead
me to another Shen Gong Wu.
Evil boy genius Jack is back!
Ha ha ha ha!
Can someone get me a lozenge?
Yaa-ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
You've got to find the
Shard of Lightning
before the others get here!
With it, evil can once
again rule the world.
Blah blah blah,
world domination.
Let's focus here.
What's in it for me?
The shard is there.
No. Over there.
No. There.
Can't you focus yourself?
Which is it?
You are not scared,
are you, Dojo?
Me? Heh heh. Scared of a
little electrical storm?
Heh heh. That's so--yaa!
You know, Lightning's always
drawn to the tallest object,
which in this case is me!
I am willing to bet my bottom
that is where our shard is.
Uh, that's your bottom dollar.
That makes no sense at all.
Let's check it out.
You guys, excuse me.
I can see the Lightning
fine from right here.
Well, well, look what the
katnappé dragged in.
You didn't think I'd stay in
that box forever, did you?
Well, another 1500 years
would've been nice.
The shard!
Stop them!
Kitties, attack!
Uhh! Aah!
That was most seriously painful.
Aah! No, no. Not the face!
Dang-blasted kittens.
I'm more of a dog person myself.
Back off, cat litter.
The shard is ours.
Hah. Someone smells
like wet fur.
Wuya, you teamed up with this
sorry excuse for a furball?
Looks like everybody was
invited to this rodeo.
Yeah, but I'm the one who's
going home with the prize.
There is no way for you to defeat
the mighty Xiaolin warriors.
Tornado strike Water!
Ha ha ha.
Hyah! Huhh! Hii! Yaa!
Out of my way, o great bald one.
Not so fast there, pardner.
Seismic kick Earth!
This is too easy.
Jack-bots, attack.
Hey! Watch the claws!
You're messing up my hair.
You snooze, you lose!
How did you get
up there so fast?
It's sure a long ways down.
Hope you don't fall.
Later, Xiaolin losers.
The Shard of Lightning.
I couldn't have done
it without you.
I may have been the one who
stole the Shen Gong Wu,
but it was your
brilliant evil plan.
You're the evil genius.
No. You're the evil genius.
No. You're the evil genius.
Uh! Uh! Uhh!
Master Fung was right.
We have underestimated
our enemy.
What's with Jack?
I'll tell ya. He was
pretty impressive.
Even his disses
seemed to be better.
Although I do not like it when Jack
commences with the garbage talk,
even I must admit great
bald one was a good diss.
How did Jack suddenly
get so good?
He must've been practicing
while some of us
were using Shen Gong Wu to
get out of doing the dishes.
Kimiko: If we wanna beat Jack,
we're going to have to practice.
Aah! Whoa!
Yeah. Practice a lot.
Come on, come on! We
don't have all day.
Chill. Evil can wait
until my nails dry.
You get me those Shen Gong Wu,
and I will give you
anything you want.
Ok. First, I only
work one hour a day,
weekends and holidays off.
Next, I want a condo.
Oceanview, and it's
gotta allow pets.
And I'll need some new
clothes and a car.
A cat-illac.
Are you getting all this down?
Ahh, the things I do for evil.
Yaa! Yaa!
Whaa! Come on, Kimiko.
Show me what you've got.
Yaa! Mantis Flip Coin.
Serpent's Tail.
You're fast! But are you
fast enough to catch me?
What the heck?
Uhh! Doggone it.
Ehh! Uhh!
Huh. Must be here somewhere.
I just had the darn thing.
Shen Gong Wu don't just
vanish into thin air.
It is likely the work of
the Shard of Lightning.
Jack did this?
Both: Shard of Lightning!
Master Fung: As soon as the user
brings forth the power of the shard,
he can move so fast
no one can see him.
I got the big guy. You get
the little monk, Jack.
The hand is faster than
even the Eye of Dashi.
That should teach them to
mess with Jack Spicer.
What to do with the cheeseball.
Nah. Not evil enough.
Why stop there?
Master Fung: But the
powers of the shard
only last as long as the
flash of Lightning.
My pants!
Oh, my shoes!
A squirrel?
A squirrel! Aah!
Wait. There are 2 Jacks?
Oh, my head is filled
with such confusion.
We're gonna take all
the Shen Gong Wu.
And there's nothing you Xiaolin
losers can do to stop us.
Both: Shard of Lightning!
Looks like Jack has
created another robot.
This time one who
gets his jokes.
How can they both use the shen
gong wu at the same time?
As long as they are both touching
the shard when it is activated,
they can both use its power.
We got your Shen Gong Wu.
Ha ha ha ha.
This is the worst thing ever.
Shard of Lightning!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Omi: I have misspoken too soon.
Jack and his evil robot twin have
taken most of the Shen Gong Wu.
Remember, it is better to
have lost the Shen Gong Wu
than never to have
won one at all.
No, it isn't.
I didn't have much
time to prepare.
Rr, rr, rr, wait. Another
Shen Gong Wu has activated.
This is perhaps our last
chance to defeat Jack
and, uh
Ah, it's good to be the top cat.
I have given you
everything you desire.
Now you must give
me what I want.
Me, me, me. You are so bossy.
And you're blocking my view.
Ah, I sense another shen
gong wu has revealed itself.
Uh, a little advice.
We're so going to
rule this planet.
You may have defeated us once.
Uh, twice.
Just to be accurate.
Whatever. Hey!
But that doesn't mean you're
gonna win against us now.
Oh, yeah? Well, we have
more Shen Gong Wu.
And all the good one-liners.
Just try to catch us.
Jack-bots, attack!
Seismic kick Earth.
Judo lei flip Fire!
Ahh! Aah!
Typhoon phoon! Hyah!
Tornado strike Water!
Jack's robots are no match for
skilled warriors like me.
Did you ever think that maybe he
was just trying to distract you
so he could go after
the Shen Gong Wu?
Oh, exactly what I was thinking.
We must be getting close.
Great! Now there's 2 of 'em.
Another whiner.
I'm not a whiner.
Forget about them.
Find the Shen Gong Wu.
Go away, Jack.
You talking to me?
Or are you talking to me?
Both of you. Beat it!
Both you you, beat it!
Stop that! You're so annoying.
Both: Stop that. You
are so annoying.
That's it. Your hour's up.
I am out of here.
You can't leave.
We had a deal.
Hey, ghost face. I quit.
Nothing is worth having to listen
to the whiny twins in stereo.
Uh, perhaps I was too hasty
in moving on to an
alliance with katnappé.
You and I make a
pretty good team.
Have you no shame?
I don't need you anymore.
I got him.
Ha ha ha.
What do you say?
I do the speaking
for both of us.
The Shen Gong Wu is ours.
I would not count my ducks
before they emerge
from their shells.
That wasn't even close.
Monkey tree assault.
Yes! It's ours!
Not unless you win it this time.
That's not fair.
It's 2 against one!
No, it's not.
I'm a solo act now.
I thought we were a team!
So I'm showdown crossing you.
That's what evil partners do.
Yeah, good point.
What now? It's a 3-way tie.
Well, Dojo, I reckon it's
time to check the rule book.
Here it is.
It's called a showdown trio.
Kinda obvious.
I challenge you, Jack Spicer,
and also you, Jack Spicer
double, to a showdown trio.
Last man standing wins the game.
I wager the Tongue of Saiping.
I wager the Shard of Lightning.
I wager the Shroud of Shadows.
I change my mind. I want
the Shroud of Shadows.
Too late. It's already mine.
Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!
All: Gong Yi Tampai!
Hey, watch where
you're going, Jack.
No. You watch where
you're going, Jack.
I know your every move
before you can make it.
Face it. You can't defeat me.
At least I still got
the robots on my side.
Robots rule!
You can't trust people,
ghosts, or robots.
Fine. I don't need
anyone's help.
Hello. I'm ready
to showdown here.
Shard of Lightning.
Ooh, I am so scared of you.
Shroud of Shadows.
Ha ha. Hee hee.
Hey, where'd he go?
Uhh! Aah!
Wow! You really are the
ultimate evil machine.
Looks like you're next, baldy.
You are a formidable opponent.
I will not underestimate
you again.
Even with your garbage talk.
Shroud of Shadows!
Jack Spicer, do you seek revenge
on your robot counterpart?
UhYeah. Why not?
Then tell me, what would you do
if it was you I was battling?
Hmm, first I would sneak up
on your left and hit you.
Uhh! Oww!
And then I'd sweep-kick
you under the feet.
And if that didn't work, I'd
climb up to the top of the cage
and pounce down on you.
I will need more help if I
wish to defeat robo-Jack.
Tongue of Saiping!
Hummingbirds. Swarm.
Shoo! Get away! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Jaguars, pounce.
Nice Jaguar.
Friendly Jaguar.
How do you stop an
elephant from charging?
You do not!
Time to commence with chores.
All: Shard of Lightning.
We will be victorious
over grime.
And, Raimundo, no more
disappearing acts.
We better hurry. Master
fung is almost here.
3 seconds. Excellent time.
That leaves you the
rest of the day
to complete the other
tasks on my list.
Whose bright idea was it to
use the shard to save time?
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