Xiaolin Showdown (2003) s02e04 Episode Script

The Crystal Glasses

Xiaolin Showdown.
Xiaolin Showdown.
I am calm. My mind is clear.
I am not distracted by this
most irritating of noises!
Oh! Oh! I'd like to see
how long you'd last
with a Shen Gong Wu rash!
What are you talking
about, Dojo?
Ooh, there must be a big
pile of Shen Gong Wu
getting ready to reveal
themselves all at once.
So when is this
collection of cats
jumping out of the bag?
Dojo: I don't know!
But I hope it's soon.
My whole body is one big
itch of anticipation.
Uh, yeah, too much information.
Sorry. Looks like the first of
the Shen Gong Wu just popped.
Kimiko: It says the
Crystal Glasses
allow the wearer to
see into the future.
I already know my future.
I will be the most
wise and powerful
and swiftest of all
Xiaolin dragons!
You left out modest.
I do not think the
Fist of Tebigong
was meant for this purpose.
Ohhh, yeah!
Yeah, right there. Ohh, yeah.
Eww! Let's hope the rest
of those Shen Gong Wu
reveal themselves before
you run out of scales.
Raimundo: Ooh, is it
getting colder out here?
Dojo: It should be.
We're in Russia.
Dojo: Next time, I'm
hiding the Shen Gong Wu
in the tropics near
a 4-star hotel.
Well, this looks like the
rural equivalent of a mall.
Maybe they'll sell
us some salve.
Mm-mmm! Warm grub
smells delicious.
There is no time for snacking.
We're seeking a rash remedy.
Uh, yeah! For our pet gecko.
Ah, my friends, if it
is remedy you seek,
I have vendor for you--me!
What can we get for this?
Is old family recipe for itch.
- Here.
- Ugh!
Also will remove paint.
Yeah, fine, we'll take it!
Ha ha!
No, nothing! I don't feel a--
oohAhh. Yeah.
More! More! More!
Ooh! Sensing a Shen Gong Wu!
Ah, you friend points
to old town temple.
2 kilometers north. You
cannot be missing it.
Clay: He wasn't kidding.
You'd have to be a blind crow
to miss the side of that barn.
The Crystal Glasses
are within our grasp.
Uh-oh! Either they've got
really big insects in Russia
or that buzzing
is the sound of--
Jack Spicer, master of evil.
At your service.
You cannot defeat
us, Jack Spicer.
Tell you what? How about
we make this interesting?
Just me versus all
of you, no weapons.
Hyah! Oh!
I think technically that
qualifies as a weapon.
Aah! Aah!
Yeah, and technically you
all qualify as suckers.
Ha ha ha! Don't mind if I do.
Unh! Unh! Aah!
Two ton tunic!
Raimundo: Didn't see that
one coming, did you?
Tangle Web Comb!
Going up!
Aah! Oof!
Jack is getting away!
Unh! Stop him!
Got it covered!
Sword of the Storm!
Fist of Tebigong!
Reversing Mirror!
Oof! Unh
I have been tebigonged.
Ha ha ha! Huh?
Hey! Whoa! No! No!
Aah! My cart!
Has been in family
for generations!
Then you come! Boom!
Unh. Hey, give me those glasses.
First you break family cart,
and then you go attack me?!
Oh, hi, guys.
Go ahead and show
them who's in charge!
Love to stay, gotta go!
I thank you for retrieving
our Shen Gong Wu
from the villainous Jack Spicer.
Is nothing.
Are you kidding? You were great!
Yeah, man, you got the moves.
Heck, we could always use
another partner on our team.
We could?
Ha ha ha!
Welcome, young Vlad.
Thank you, Master Fung.
Vlad is a most welcome
addition to our team.
But he is the last one, right?
Yeah. I mean,
just how many dragons in
training can there be?
This is great!
Even though I'm not a dragon
apprentice like you guys,
I still outrank the new guy!
Da. I am, how you say,
lowest branch on tree, yeah?
That's right, Vlad! The
worst chores are yours.
Dusting, polishing,
and sweeping.
Oh, is my pleasure, Raimundo.
Thank you.
Maybe we should keep
him on permanently.
Have successfully
infiltrated Xiaolin temple
and now ready to take
evil plan to next phase.
Jack: Excellent! Oh, and, Vlad,
next time you fake a fight,
try not to be so convincing.
Whatever you say, Mr. Jack Spicer.
You are boss.
Because I suffered a
tebigonging to retrieve them.
Only 'cause you let Jack go reversing
mirror on your sorry butt.
Is I who got glasses
from bad man.
Sorry, Vlad. New guys last--huh?
Sorry, Rai. Dragon
apprentices first.
Huh? Huh?
Perhaps we should settle
this with a challenge.
All: Ohh!
A simple game of tag
should suffice.
Merely touch my tunic and
the glasses are yours.
Sounds good to me!
By looking into the
future, I know your moves
before you do.
Aw, forget it.
I knew you would say that.
The power of the Crystal Glasses
should not be taken lightly.
Only the wisest of dragons
should attempt to use them.
Why are you wearing sunglasses
on a non-sunny day?
They make me look cool.
Why do you want to look cold?
Never mind. You up
for a challenge?
Whatever it is, I accept!
And I will be victorious!
I want you to hit me
as hard as you can.
A most unusual challenge,
but if you insist.
Hyah! Yaah!
Aah! Unh!
What happened to the old
tiger instincts, Omi?
Oh, so predictable.
Left. Right. Sweep the feet.
Vlad says hi.
Hello, friends.
Wait! This is not right! Yaah!
Looking for these?
Both: Raimundo, did you
not hear Master Fung?
This Shen Gong Wu is no toy.
Ha ha ha! Is funny.
This is where you belong.
Vlad: Our friends are not
wise dragons like you, Omi.
Vlad, I was--i was just
locking up the vault and--
and did you say I was wise?
Your sight is not clouded
by silly distractions.
That is why you will be
great Dragon Warrior.
Hmm. I think you
are right, Vlad!
It is such shame we
cannot look into future
and see you in all
your big heroic glory.
Oh, but we can!
The crystal glass? But
Master Fung said--
only a wise dragon should
use this Shen Gong Wu.
So I'll just wisely
take one little peek.
Is our secret.
Crystal Glasses!
Oh, yes! My heroic destiny
is coming into focus!
What is this? The temple!
My friends!
What monster is responsible
for this terrible evil?
It isMe.
I am the great evil!
You don't strike me as one who
would go over to the dark side.
Yeah, and Rai here would know.
You sure you were looking through
the right side of the glasses?
Yeah, and why were you even looking
in them to begin with, Omi?
My inner evil! It made me look!
It's taking over already!
It is decided.
In order to save the future,
i must give up my position
as a Xiaolin dragon in training.
There's only one
path for you now.
You mean, the path of evil?
No. In my country, man of honor
takes a long walk,
alone, never to return.
Is honorable thing.
Uh, guys? Omi's gone.
Oh, he's probably
in the storeroom,
practicing his flying
leopard attack.
No. I mean, like,
he is gone gone.
He left a note and everything.
Did anyone know about this?
Hey, I know where we can look.
Looking into the future to
see where you will find Omi
sounds like the idea of
a wise dragon to me.
Crystal Glasses!
We will find him by a frozen
river near hock rock!
Oh, hey! Hey, Vlad! You got any
more of your babushka salve?
Oh, please, babushka, you gotta
be in here for old Dojo. Oh!
Oh, let's see. Socks, Chekov,
Jack Spicer's Reversing Mirror.
Why would Vlad have Jack
Spicer's Reversing Mirror
I gotta warn the others!
We gotta--
It's happening! The treasure
trove of Shen Gong Wu
has revealed itself! Uhh!
Whoa! This is great!
Now the only thing I want
to hear is Vlad saying--
mission accomplished.
So, Omi is out of
the picture then.
Da! By the time the others figure out
what's going on, it will be too late.
And we'll already have all
the new Shen Gong Wu.
You should not have come for me.
Did you not read my letter?
Yeah, and we're not buying it.
But I saw it with my own eyes!
Dojo, what are you
doing in the wood box?
Bl-bl-bl! It was Vlad! That snake
is really working for Jack!
No way! What!?
Even worse, my rash is
starting to blister.
Can we keep this on a
need-to-know basis?
We'd better hurry, or we could lose
out on our Shen Gong Wu bonanza!
Hop on!
Ew! Ew! Ew!
Leave me be. I am evil.
I will corrupt your quest.
Less talk, more defrost.
The Shen Gong Wu are
mine, all mine!
Sorry to bust up your
little hoe-down,
but we'll take those
off your hands.
What?! How can this be?
I do not understand. How were you
so fast with the finding of him?
We used a shortcut.
Jack-bots, attack.
Yahh! Uhh!
What?! Yahh!
Two ton tunic!
Hey! Uhh!
Snap out of it, Omi.
We could use the help!
Soon you will be
my greatest ally.
I'll even write you your
own evil theme music.
bom bom bom bom bom
this is not right.
Whoa! Whoa! Slow down!
Sweet! We get the wu
and they're all wet.
Ooh, is this Shen Gong Wu!
Our crossing victory over weak-minded
little ones is complete.
Ok, hired muscle.
Not paid to gloat.
But was so easy to
trick weak-minded Omi
into believing he
would become evil.
He wears the crystals glass,
has no idea future he sees
is reverse mirror trick.
Ah ha ha ha ha!
This is why gloating should
be left to the mastermind.
Uhh! Tsunami strike Water!
Aah! Aah!
It is time for payback,
you lying trickster!
I challenge you to a
Xiaolin Showdown!
The contest is, be
the first to get out
before the cave
fills with Water.
I wager two ton tunic.
And I wager the Crystal Glasses.
Let's go!
Xiaolin Showdown!
Both: Gong Yi Tampai!
It is no contest,
beating one so puny.
Uhh! Uhh, uhh!
Uhh! Yahh!
Uhh! Uhh, uhh!
Uhh! Yahh! Two ton tunic!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Uhh, uhh!
Yaah! Uhh, uhh!
Uhh, uhh! Uhh, uhh!
Uhh, uhh! Uhh, uhh, uhh!
Crystal Glasses!
Is impossible. Is no way out.
Ha ha! You fool! You
had that victory!
I do not think so.
Water! Huh?
Uhh! You are still
just little boy!
You'll never find way out!
Allow me to show you
the power of Water!
All right! Yeah!
All: Dojo!
Now who's all wet?
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