Xiaolin Showdown (2003) s02e08 Episode Script

The Sands of Time

Xiaolin Showdown.
Xiaolin Showdown.
And now, my squad
of evil warriors,
cheer-bots, attack!
Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go!
Go, evil, go!
Go, evil, go! Go, evil, go!
Go, evil, go!
Ha ha! I do love a
good girl fight!
Can it, Spicer!
These cheer-bots are
most skilled warriors,
yet also refreshingly fragrant.
Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go!
Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go!
Go, evil, go!
Go, evil--
Orb of Tsunami!
Xiaolin warriors,
assume dragon x kumei formation!
Greetings, Xiaolin warriors.
The old one with the
extremely large head
looks most familiar.
Bro, that's you, but way old!
I am Omi from the distant future
here to warn you
that the world will soon
be dominated by evil.
Yeah! Go evil! Whoo!
But fear not. There is a way
to prevent this disaster--
the key to the survival of
the universe as we know it
lies in the future,
only you must find
the Sands of Time
before the Sands of Time
themselves run out.
Dude, does everyone in the
future talk in riddles, too?
The Sands of Time is a very
powerful Shen Gong Wu.
It not only allows one
to travel through time,
but to alter time as well.
Remember, young dragons,
one's fate is never sealed
with the Sands of Time.
It can always be changed.
You guys, wouldn't
it be a lot easier
if we just waited until the
Sands of Time reveals itself?
No. We have no time to lose.
We cannot allow Jack
Spicer to get it first.
The world depends on us.
Seems like we've been
flying around for days.
I'm gettin' more tired
than a
A one-legged man at a
butt-kicking contest?
You kids need your rest.
Than fly around aimlessly
looking for the shen gong
Dojo, don't nod off on us now.
Huh? What?
Just 5 more minutes, mommy.
I don't want to go to school.
No. We cannot quit now.
Not until we find--
the Sands of Time!
There it is!
Omi: Now let us find
the Shen Gong Wu.
Jack, stop playing
with your dolls!
I've just sensed that a shen
gong wu has revealed itself.
It's the Sands of Time!
Can't you see I'm busy?
Michelle has no arms and
Dana lost her head.
She's my favorite.
Your girlfriends look like
they could use a makeover.
Don't listen to her, christie.
She's just jealous.
Kimiko: We haven't
looked down here yet.
Ok, it's gotta be
around here somewhere.
Ooh, ooh! Shen Gong Wu!
And not a minute too soon!
Jet bootsu.
Time to bag this wu.
And mosey on back to the ranch.
Omi: What is this?
They must be pharaoh's
army of evil.
Xiaolin warriors,
prepare to make battle.
Leopard attack!
You must be very warm
bundled up like that
when it's so hot out.
Hey, rags, you need a
little attitude adjustment.
Tangle Web Comb.
Man, echoes: Stop!
Who are you people?
You've ruined my show.
Show? Who are you?
I am the director of
the Sands of Time,
the longest-running show
in Egyptian dinner theater
I quit!
Waiting tables is
better than this!
I can't believe it was
a fake Shen Gong Wu.
Breaking news, kids.
The real sands of
time just lit up.
Buckle your seat belts.
It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Oops! Eh
This is embarrassing.
Sorry, guys,
but I'm too out of whack to fly.
I'm gonna need at least
10 hours to recharge.
This is most inconvenient.
We are losing valuable time
on this slow jet plane!
Lazy lizard.
I heard that!
Clay: The Xiaolin temple.
Dag nar!
We're right smack dab
where we started.
Oh! That's where it was.
Rock garden, pyramid--
eh, I was close.
Ha ha ha ha!
Looking for this,
Xiaolin losers?
Too bad!
You're out of luck
and out of time!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
It was up to me to find
the Sands of Time,
and I failed all of you--
my friends, Master Fung,
and the entire universe!
I believe that about covers it.
Now, with the Sands of Time,
I can put into
action the greatest,
most evil plan of all time!
We're talking induction into
the evil hall of fame here,
and recognition for
world domination, Baby!
Do it!
Sands of Time!
See? Where am I exactly?
Whoops! Too far back!
Sands of Time!
Oww! Ow! Oww! Aah, aah!
Mr. Attila the hun,
how would you like
to come work for me?
Fight, you scurvy knaves!
Or thar will be plank
walking aplenty!
Ha ha ha ha ha! Huh?
Mr. blackbeard,
I'm Jack Spicer,
evil boy genius.
Big fan. Love your work.
Wuya, my disembodied partner,
I have assembled
the evilest people
in the history of all mankind.
Meet Attila the hun,
blackbeard the pirate,
Billy the kid,
Mrs. cornhaven--
my first grade teacher.
Brilliant, Jack!
So, what's our next move?
With my dream team of evil,
nothing can stop me from
collecting Shen Gong Wu.
Together we can achieve
world domination!
We may have to work
on our evil laughs.
Aaaah! Jackie!
Stand up straight when you
speak and stop whining!
Mrs. cornhaven.
You're embarrassing me in
front of my new friends.
Somebody needs a timeout!
We must get the Sands of Time.
There is no time to
dally our dillies.
I think you mean dilly-dally.
That makes no sense.
We demand the sands
of time at once!
If you please.
Ah, we'll get to that.
First, I'd like you to meet
some special friends of mine.
You don't have friends.
"You don't
have friends."
Associates. Whatever!
Evil drill team, attack!
Pardon me, old lady, but I--
old lady this! Haah!
I guess this would be the part
where I let out my new
trademark evil laugh.
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha hah!
Not so fast, Spicer.
He who is last to be laughing
laughs most loudly.
What Omi did to that sentence
is what we're gonna do to you!
Warriors! Dragon x
kumei formation!
Take that, pirate dude!
Now that's how we
take care of business
kung-fu cowboy style.
You call yourself the best?!
You are a disgrace
to evil everywhere.
Hey, guys, where's Jack?
You mean when is Jack?
Sands of Time!
Why do you look so different?
I took a year off
for some down time
and came up with the greatest
super genius evil plan ever.
Now I'm off to enlist the help
of the number one
villain of them all.
Sands of Time!
Aaah! Jack? Don't do that.
Wuya, I want to introduce you
to the most evil super
genius of them all--
me! From the future!
Huh? What?
Where's the bathroom?
With his knowledge
of the future,
I'll know the locations
of every Shen Gong Wu
before they reveal themselves!
Together, world
domination is ours!
I tell ya, I sense the
sweet baby among us,
somewhere right aroundHere.
I don't know what to say.
Must have been a false alarm
Or those chili peppers
I ate last night.
I don't think so.
Well, I reckon we
just got to the rodeo
after it closed.
I fail to understand.
How could Jack Spicer
get here so fast?
Look down there!
It is old Jack Spicer!
Jack Spicer must have brought
him back from the future.
No wonder they got here so fast.
He must know the location
of every Shen Gong Wu.
It's like taking candy
from a bunch of babies!
Huh? Who's got the rabies?
Hurry up, old timer.
We've gotta get the
Ruby of Ramses
before it reveals itself.
Change of plans, kids.
I guess we're going after
the Ruby of Ramses.
Whoever possesses it
has the power to move
objects at will.
I remember seeing it in the
head of the pharaoh's statue.
We need to hightail
it back to Egypt.
Have you returned to
ruin my show again?
We are here to retrieve
the Ruby of Ramses,
and to purchase 4
tickets, please.
Jack: Not so fast, baldy!
Judo flip, fire!
Typhoon boom, wind!
Seismic kick, earth!
Aah! Whoa!
Where are you going, Omi?
I am off to the future
to get the best weapon
to fight evil ever--
Shroud of Shadows.
Omi: Ha ha! The Sands of Time.
Sands of Time!
Old Jack, meet old Omi.
Jacks, we omis challenge you
to a Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami.
I can't find my teeth.
Our budon sash
against your Monkey Staff.
Our midas flip coin against
your Thorn of thunderbolt--
or thunderbolt, actually.
First group to
make it to the top
of the pyramid maze wins!
Bring it on, baldies! Heh heh!
Let's go!
Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami!
All: Gong yi tampai!
Jack: Ha ha ha!
So long, Xiaolin losers!
Announcer: Level 2 attained.
Budon sash!
Announcer: Level 3 attained.
The Thorn of old thunderbolt!
Aaaaah! Aaaaah!
I've got 2 words for you.
Gym membership!
Whuh? Ahh.
I don't recall that name.
Jim membership?
He--he owes me 5
bucks, that guy.
Drive safe, Jackie.
See you on Tuesday!
Your bones are old,
but your heart is strong.
You battle like a true
Xiaolin warrior yourself.
Now, if you please,
I must
Old Omi: I must now
return to the future,
where I will hide
the Sands of Time,
never to be found again.
It was most delightful
getting to know you--
I mean, me.
Sands of Time!
I wonder where he's gonna hide
the Sands of Time?
I know where I would.
Ah, I am most impressed
with myself.
I never would have
thought to look there.
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