Xiaolin Showdown (2003) s02e11 Episode Script

Master Monk Guan

Xiaolin Showdown.
Xiaolin Showdown.
Dojo, would you hurry it up?
Ok. Ok.
It's there!
No! There!
No, no, no, wait. Over there!
Dojo, are you sure
it's a Shen Gong
Wu you're sensing
and not that very large spider?
Heh heh heh.
Like I'm gonna
fall for that one.
Aah! Spider!
That's not a spider.
What a Dojo.
That's it--
the lasso boa-boa.
When activated, it transforms
into a bone-crushing
And now it's mine!
Not so fast!
First you'll have to get by me--
Jack Spicer--
and my army of Wuya-bots.
How ugly.
Dawg ugly.
Yeah, gross.
My Wuya-bots!
Don't just stand there.
Get in there and fight!
I would if it
weren't for this
Arr, arr, arr!
Dragon X Kumei Formation!
Jack! You are an embarrassment
to evil everywhere!
Unh! Huh?
I believe this belongs to you.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am--
you are the world-famous
master Monk Guan!
Where? Where?
Nice of you to join us, Dojo,
now that the battle is over.
Master Monk Guan, I walk
on the ground you worship.
I mean, I worship the
walk on the ground.
I mean, i--
it's all right.
I know what you mean.
Master Monk Guan
is the most accomplished
tai chi master.
He has defeated the
greatest warriors
using only his famous
Spear of Guan.
And I see much
potential in you, Omi.
Oh, yes. I know.
I only wish I had arrived sooner
so I could have joined you.
You know, I'm the one
who flew them there.
Yeah. We were lucky
to get there at all.
Ha ha ha ha!
What a Dojo.
Dojo, perhaps if you
didn't eat so much,
you would fly swifter.
Are you saying that I'm fat?
No, no, nothing like that.
It's just that you're, um
You know, I can still fit
into the same swimming trunks
I wore 1,500 years ago.
You mean your old toga?
What a Dojo.
I do all the sensing
of Shen Gong Wu
and all the flying,
but do I ever get
a pat on the back
or a "good job, Dojo"?
No. Never.
I have traveled the
world a dozen times,
but I have never seen a creature
as fascinating as you.
You find me fascinating? How?
What other creatures
can sense the presence
of a Shen Gong Wu?
Yeah. You're right.
I am fascinating.
And, you know,
there's someone you should meet
that would really
appreciate your talents.
Do you get the feeling
that we're not alone?
You know, in all the excitement,
you never told me who
your friend was.
It's none other than the
famous Chase Young.
Ha ha ha ha!
That's funny. Ha ha ha!
I thought you said
it was Chase Young.
Aah! That's right.
Chase Young? As in
the master of evil,
the guy who makes your lower
lip quiver Chase Young?
Sorry, but I gotta go.
Where's the button
on this thing?
Oh, oh! Aah!
You've done well,
master Monk Guan.
You've delivered the dragon.
What?! What dragon?
Oh? Me. Well, yes, I am. Ha ha.
And as promised,
I return to you the
Spear of Guan.
Now leave and never return.
Come, now.
It's time for your dinner.
I sure hope you're
talking to me.
I trust your meal
was satisfactory.
It's about the best meal
I've had in 600 years.
I'm pleased that you're
enjoying yourself.
You taught them to do that?
Among other duties.
I hate to admit it,
but for an evil villain,
you have been very hospitable.
Thank you.
I have something very special
in store for you, Dojo.
You do? Hmm. Huh.
Well, I hate to eat and run.
It will be up to you, Dojo.
Your stay here can be a pleasant
or an unpleasant experience.
I choose pleasant.
How about pleasant?
Pleasant would be nice.
I thought you might.
Oh, that's it.
We've looked high
and low for Dojo.
I have looked high.
No Dojo, I'm afraid.
I just hope the little guy's ok.
It will be difficult for
Dojo to resist showing up
the next time a Shen
Gong Wu reveals itself.
But how will we know when a
Shen Gong Wu has been revealed?
I have an idea!
Ahh, it's coming to me.
The Monsoon Sandals have
just revealed themselves.
The monsoon what?
Sandals! Sandals!
Whoever possesses them
will have legs that can
stretch for miles.
Ooh. I've always wanted that.
All we have to do is
use the GPS receiver.
Then we'll be able to track
Jack wherever he goes.
All: Silver Manta Ray!
Hold it right there.
We shall take the Shen Gong Wu,
if you please.
Go ahead and try.
Monsoon Sandals!
Aah! Aah!
Chase Young.
Pleased to meet you.
Chase Young?
As in Chase Young,
the greatest super-evil genius
of all time Chase Young?
I do have a certain reputation.
Here. I want you to have my Wu.
You fool!
Chase Young is my all-time hero.
He's an evildoer's evildoer.
Omi: Dojo!
Where have you been?
We could have missed out on a lot
of Shen Gong Wu with you gone.
Are you sure, with my
big bones and all,
it wouldn't have just
slowed you down?
Oh, is that why you left?
Hey, we were only funnin'
with you, partner.
We didn't mean to
hurt your feelings.
WellYou did.
Kimiko: We need you, Dojo.
You are a most valuable dragon.
And most of all,
you're one of us, dude.
I missed you guys, too.
So, you will return to
the temple with us?
I'd like to,
but I can't.
I've been traded
Like a baseball card!
Well, what no-good
hombre would do that?
Master Monk Guan.
This cannot be.
Master Monk Guan is
far too honorable
to engage in such behavior.
That's where you'd be wrong,
my naive young Xiaolin admirer.
Dojo belongs to me now.
If you do not surrender Dojo
and the Shen Gong Wu at once,
you will suffer a most
humiliating defeat.
What are we gonna do, fight
or sit around and sip tea?
It's my special lau
mang lone soup.
I always have a cup
before victory.
You fight well,
for a little one.
The fact that my
center of gravity
is low to the ground
only makes me more difficult
to defeat in battle.
You fight well, too.
I mean, as evil geniuses go.
I've been itchin'
to scrap all day.
Hyaaaah! Hyaaaah!
And what do you say
we work together?
Split the Wu down the middle.
I have little interest
in Shen Gong Wu.
I only came to observe
the young monks
I heard so much about.
True strength comes from within.
Oh, that's deep.
You know, Chase--
can I call you Chase?
It's a pleasure to
watch you work.
Jack! You pathetic
little groupie!
If I had a stomach I'd hurl.
Hee hee, hee hee.
There he is.
It's time we get to
the top of this.
The bottom of this.
That, too!
But how is it possible
that you would do such a thing?
You are a great warrior.
I am afraid I am not the
great warrior I once was.
Guan: Years ago, i
fought Chase Young.
The battle went on for days
Severely testing
our wills to win.
I made the first error
And lost my Spear of Guan.
Without it, I was nothing.
I had lost my courage.
Then Chase Young offered me
a chance to get it back.
If you gave him Dojo.
Master Fung says what
makes a warrior strong
is not the weapon but the
warrior holding the weapon.
I'm sorry.
I will show you where
to find his palace,
but I'm afraid
that's all I can do.
What does he want with Dojo?
Chase Young was once
on the side of good.
However, he traded his soul
for a potion that keeps
him forever young.
Kimiko: One cup of wheat grass,
one tablespoon of salt,
a pinch of dried frog,
and one whole dragon?
Perhaps you'd like
another helping.
Yeah. I'd love another helping,
but you're gonna have
to get me a bigger tub.
That could be arranged.
It appears you are ready
for the lau mang lone soup.
You're making me a bowl of soup?
In a manner of speaking, yes.
We are in luck.
Chase Young must have forgotten
to close the door behind him.
Is that luck, or a trap?
Same difference!
We shall use our
superior fighting skills
to protect us.
Aah! Aah!
Guys, over here!
Omi: Dojo!
Are you all right?
I'm sitting in a pot of soup!
What do you think?!
Hee hee hee hee hee!
Wow! You're even more
hideous than Wuya.
I love it!
You see before you my true form,
without the benefit
of my potion.
I can see why you're
so faithful to it.
Star Hanabi Fire!
Ruby of Ramses!
Hey! Put me down!
Lasso boa-boa!
Thorn of thunderbolt!
Aaaah! Aaaah!
Perhaps you will join
me in a bowl of Dojo.
I wouldn't celebrate
your victory just yet.
Master Monk Guan!
I knew you would come.
How could I resist joining you
in fighting the dark
forces of evil?
Chase Young, I challenge
you to a showdown.
A plain old regular showdown?
We haven't had one of
those in a long time.
No Shen Gong Wu.
We use only our
martial arts skills.
The wager will be the freedom
of Dojo and the monks.
And should I prevail,
you will forever pledge
your loyalty to me,
and join the other
fallen warriors
who are enslaved in the
beasts that serve me.
You'll turn him into a big cat?
Oh, you are so cutting-edge!
Both: Gong Yi Tampai!
loser Guan, loser Guan
loser Guan
you cannot defeat me.
Even the Spear of
Guan won't save you.
What makes a warrior strong
is not the weapon
But the warrior
holding the weapon.
Ha hah!
Your theatrics are
quite amusing,
as are your skills in combat.
Ohhhh! Unh!
I see you now for what you are
and not for what you
pretend to be--
a powerful beast!
Yes! We can still stop them!
No! I accepted their challenge
and lost. Huh?!
They're free to go.
I'm certain that our
paths will cross again.
As I, too, am certain.
Just leaving. I'm with them.
Clay: Gotta admit, partner,
you came through for us
when the chips were down.
Yeah, you really saved
our butts, dude.
Even though you almost got mine
cooked in the first place.
Thanks for saving my life!
Is physical contact appropriate?
And thank you, Omi,
for restoring the
courage I had lost.
It was never really lost,
just misplaced.
I want you to have this, Omi.
I have a feeling I will not
be needing it anymore.
The Spear of Guan!
I could not accept
something so valuable.
You need not twist my foot.
I will make an
exception this once.
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