Young Sheldon (2017) s05e03 Episode Script

1 Previously on Young Sheldon Did we talk about going home from the bar together? Sure.
But nothing actually happened.
Kind of feels like it.
It does feel like it.
Why does it feel like it? - Hi, Mary.
- Hey, John.
What are you doing here? Well, I lost my job, so, while I'm figuring things out, I'm a bag boy.
Aren't you a little overqualified? [whispers.]
: Very.
You've got a PhD.
You're the smartest person here.
Well ADULT SHELDON: In physics, potential energy is a fascinating topic.
Objects like springs store energy when they're coiled, waiting to unleash their full potential and soar to the heavens.
Would you look at me go! Even in toy form, I'm shooting for the stars.
While the potential energy of an object can be measured in absolutes, human potential remains more elusive.
Sometimes, people seem to have all the potential in the world, but for some reason stay stuck to the ground.
But why are you wasting your time here when you could be doing science? I told you, I'm happy here.
How could you be happy? You have a doctorate in physics, and you're sticking labels to a case of beans.
I had to work here a month before they let me use this thing.
And yet, I could go buy a real gun on my lunch break.
Ha! Texas, huh? But don't you miss trying to unlock the secrets of the universe? Sheldon, I spent my life chasing theoreticals.
Here, I have tangible accomplishments and I get to listen to relaxing Top 40 music.
Do you know this band, Air Supply? They're terrific.
I'm all out of love I'm so lost without you I know you were right Believing Nobody else is stronger than I am Yesterday I moved a mountain I bet I could be your hero I am a mighty little man - Hey.
- Hmm? What kind of things you and Darlene do when, - you know, you go out on a date? - Oh.
All kinds of stuff.
But it doesn't matter what we do as long as we're together.
Looking for a thing to do here.
All right.
Nice to see you're thinking about your wife.
I'm trying.
Darlene and I love to go line dancing.
- Next.
- Let's see.
There's the Roundabout.
What's that? It's a roller rink.
They have cool lights and a DJ.
It's like a disco.
So, when I said no to line dancing, you thought, "Let's put George on wheels.
" Ooh.
Take her bowling.
[bowling ball rolling.]
[bowling pins clatter.]
- I don't want to take her bowling.
- Fine.
But it doesn't matter where you go.
She's just gonna be happy you're trying.
I hope so.
It's nice to see I'm finally rubbing off on you.
I am capable of being a decent husband.
Oh, of course you are.
[chuckles.]
: Don't patronize me.
I could stop, but then what will we have left? DALE: Well, we don't carry hockey skates.
Uh, heck, I know of a place up north where you can find them.
It's called Canada.
[knocking.]
You're early.
I was sitting in algebra and realized, don't know what "X" is, don't care what "X" is.
Boy, I hear "ex" and I think of a woman who took half my stuff.
- That's my problem.
- Mind if I change? Yeah, please, go right ahead.
Why else would I have a private bathroom? Thanks.
[door closes.]
- Did you like school? - Hated it.
I quit and I joined the Army.
How was that? Less girls, more getting shot at.
Well, at least you made it out alive.
Well, then I got married.
Made me kind of miss getting shot at.
Have you ever been happy? Ooh, let's see.
No.
Could you not do that in front of me? [birds chirping.]
[keys jingle.]
- I need your help.
- [gasps.]
Why are you in my car? Well, I was waiting outside, but then an angry squirrel forced me to seek shelter.
What do you want? I need you to talk to Dr.
Sturgis.
He's wasting his time working in a grocery store.
- Oh, then the rumor is true? - Yes.
Good, I spread it heavily at the faculty mixer.
Well, please.
He won't listen to me.
I'm hoping you can talk some sense into him.
Sheldon, he's a grown man.
Perhaps in a little apron with a nametag is how I'm picturing it.
- That's exactly right.
- Excellent.
So, will you talk to him? Look, if he doesn't want to come back, I certainly can't force him.
But he's wasting his potential.
[sighs.]
I'm just curious, if he were to come back, would you spend more time with him, and therefore less time with me? I suppose so.
Why? No reason.
Get out.
[chuckles.]
John.
Hello, Grant.
What brings you here? Well, I'm here to convince you to come back to the university.
A mind like yours needs to be working on the advancement of science.
Well, I did that for 50 years.
Now I'm content just keeping these cucumbers crunchy.
But exciting new things are happening in string theory.
Don't you want to be a part of that? Wasting years scrambling away at the academic hamster wheel? Constantly worried that your life's work is just one big dead end? Sure, some paths of research may not pan out, but we still have to try, right? Do we? - Of course.
- I don't know.
Einstein spent the last 30 years of his life on the grand unified field theory and got nowhere.
Well, I wouldn't say nowhere, but I suppose he never did crack it.
And to this day, no one has.
- True.
- In fact, most of his major accomplishments occurred when he was a young man, which you and I most certainly are not.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, "Who is that?" Would you like to give these cucumbers a spritz? No, thank you.
Do you sell liquor here? [knocking on door.]
You wanted to see me? Actually, I wanted to see you yesterday, but you weren't in school.
You noticed that, huh? I've noticed it a lot lately.
Level with me, son.
Is it drinking? Drugs? Actually, it's work.
Oh.
I don't think I have a pamphlet for that.
You sure you didn't get a girl in trouble? You will at some point, just take it.
My boss has been letting me pick up some extra hours.
You just can't ditch school.
It's not like I'm going to college.
Son, a diploma's important.
Why? At least at work I'm getting actual experience and making money.
Well, you saying you're gonna drop out? I guess I am.
Does your father know about this? No.
Don't you think you should tell him? I don't really want to.
Well, if you don't tell him, I'm going to.
That'd be great.
You're the best.
You never know.
Come on, Mom, don't you wish you were watching television, too? JANET [on TV.]
: Clarissa Marie Darling You look nice.
Oh, no, are we going to church? No, your father and I have a date night.
Why? Don't you have enough kids? That is not what date night means.
[door closes.]
Georgie here? He's in his room.
What's going on? - George? - Oh, good, more drama.
What the hell is wrong with you? MARY: What is going on? He's dropping out of school.
What?! Oh, no, you're not.
It's not a big deal.
You better believe it's a big deal.
You are finishing high school, end of discussion.
It's my life.
It's my house.
If you're don't go to school, you can't live here.
Hold on, we are not kicking him out.
The hell we're not! I'll pack right now.
Stop, you don't have to go.
Yes, he does.
My house, my rules.
It is my house, too.
- Oh, really? - Yes, really.
[knocking.]
Is Dale here? Yeah, what's up? I would like to have a word with him.
Better him than me.
Have at it.
Dale, Mary coming in hot! Did you tell Georgie to drop out of school? What? No.
Well, he did, and you had something to do with it.
Well, no, he was just complaining about school and I told him I dropped out.
Dale, you know that he looks up to you.
He does, doesn't he? Which is why you need to tell him that he is making a big mistake.
Oh, I don't think I can do that.
Why not? Well, I don't believe he is.
How could you say that? I did it, worked out fine.
Will you back me up here, please? I agree with him.
You do? You do? Yeah.
Yeah.
MEEMAW: The kid's a natural salesman.
I mean, school's not gonna help with that.
So, you are fine with your grandson throwing his life away so that he can sell fishing rods and baseball bats? Excuse me, those fishing rods provided a nice life for me and my family.
What family? You're divorced, and your kids don't talk to you.
Help me out here.
A diploma would not have made his life better.
Thank you.
What she said.
GEORGE SR.
: She really took his side? I don't want to talk about that.
I thought you two had date night.
I don't want to talk about that, either.
Why isn't Georgie eating with us? Let's talk about anything else.
Ooh.
Perhaps this is a good time for a physics joke.
It isn't.
That's the cool thing about physics, time is relative.
Okay, here we go.
Why was the pirate worried that his shoes were less than "H"? Because he had to walk the Planck.
Get it? Because Max Planck is a famous physicist who discovered a constant which is represented by "H.
" And then he If Georgie's kicked out, can I have his room? We are not kicking Georgie out.
You want to start this up again? Or can we just be mad at your mom and Dale? - And Georgie.
- Thank you.
And Georgie.
Let's just eat.
So can anyone drop out or do you need to be a certain age? You are not dropping out of school.
Until you're 16 then they legally can't stop you.
Good to know.
This is exactly what I was afraid of.
What do you want me to do about it? I would encourage you to love and nurture the one child you have who's destined for success.
[knocking.]
Dale, it's for you! What are you thinking?! I'm thinking I should've went home after your wife left.
Georgie's only got one more year of school, and then he can do whatever he wants.
I don't want to come between you and your family.
Too late.
Listen, I know you're upset, but the person you ought to be yelling at is Georgie, not us.
I yelled at him it didn't help! Is this helping? A little, yes.
So I'm datin' a dropout? No, you're datin' a guy with a full-time job.
And your parents are okay with this? They'll come around.
By the way, can I crash at your place? No! My father already doesn't think you're good enough for me.
And I don't want him to know he's right.
He's not right! He might be a little right.
I thought you'd be more supportive.
And I thought we were gonna be seniors together.
Homecoming court, prom king and queen.
Voted most likely to stay together forever.
We can still stay together.
They can't vote for you if you're not a senior! I don't think this is gonna work out.
You're breakin' up with me? - Yeah.
- You're serious? I feel like I don't have a choice.
Fine, as a workin' man I shouldn't be dating a girl in high school anyway it's immature.
Just take me home.
'Cause it's a school night? How cute.
- Take me back.
- No.
- Dang it.
- [phone ringing.]
This is Grant Linkletter.
I'm not home, please leave a message.
[machine beeps.]
SHELDON: Dr.
Linkletter, Sheldon Cooper.
I haven't heard back from you.
I hope everything went well with Dr.
Sturgis.
Perhaps you two got caught up discussing physics.
Time does fly when you're having fun.
So what does it all mean, John? Maybe you should ask someone who isn't drinking on a park bench.
[both laugh.]
You work your whole life.
It all seems so important at the time, but is it? That's a good question.
It puts me in mind of, uh, Camus' The Myth of Siphisus Siphaphis - Sisyphus.
- That's the guy.
Every day he rolled the rock up the mountain, and every day it rolled back down.
That's what it seems like.
But you escaped.
You stopped rolling that rock.
Well, that's what I thought.
But every single bag of groceries I fill, there's another one right behind it.
So what do we do about it? We sing.
What do we sing? When you're too old to work And you're too young to die Who will take care of you? How will you get by? When you're too old to work And you're too young to die? I don't think I know that one.
[grunts.]
Do you know "Lollipop"? Lollipop, lollipop, ooh, lolli, lollipop, lollipop Lollipop, ooh, lolli, lollipop Lollipop, lollipop, ooh, lolli, lolli, lolli - Lollipop - [both pop.]
[vocalizes.]
Lollipop, lollipop, lolli, lolli Lolli, lollipop, lollipop Lolli, lolli, lollipop I bet those losers dropped out of high school, too.
- Lollipop - [both pop, vocalizing.]
Sorry I got riled up.
Don't worry about it.
Mary's over here all the time yellin' about something it was a pleasant change of pace.
[knocking.]
What are you doin' here? What are you doin' here? I was hopin' to stay here tonight.
Well, you can't.
This ain't your house.
It ain't yours, either.
It's my house, and I get to say who stays and who goes.
Okay, well, I'll be going.
Oh, you're staying.
You can go.
Lucky.
How come Sheldon doesn't help with the dishes? When you do their taxes, I'll do the dishes.
If you don't like washing dishes, that is a good reason to stay in school and get your diploma.
You have a high school diploma, and you wash dishes every day.
Thank you.
Helpful.
Although I do think Missy should stay in school.
You think everyone should stay in school.
Well, I understand why someone like Georgie would rather work, but if you drop out, I think you would regret it.
Why? Historically, women in the workplace have been undervalued.
You don't want to make it easier for people to do that to you.
He's right.
Not a problem if I marry a rich guy.
You should marry someone for love.
You married Dad for love and there's a lot of bickering.
- That's not true.
- Thank you.
She married him 'cause she was pregnant.
I can finish these up on my own.
Good, I have a date with Fresh Prince who by the way is so rich.
[groans.]
Okay, here's the deal.
You get one night here, then you're out.
You're not being very grandmotherly right now.
Where's the milk? Where's the cookies? Do you believe this kid? I could go for a cookie.
No one's gettin' a cookie! One night here is fine.
I'll be workin' more hours now so I'll be able - to get my own place soon.
- Yeah, about that.
I can't let you work full-time at the store.
What? Why not? Well, your parents are pretty upset.
I'm not gonna get in the middle of that.
I'll just get a job somewhere else.
That's your business.
- [doorbell rings.]
- For God's sake.
Who's left that I know? Finally! The right house! [door closes.]
Kids in bed? Not all of 'em.
Mary, if we let Georgie stay here, we're just makin' this all too easy for him.
I don't want to fight.
I just want to know that our son is okay.
He's fine.
He's stayin' at your mom's.
[exhales.]
Well, that's something.
Although, where does she get off thinking that it's a good idea for him to drop out of school and then lettin' him live with her after he does it.
- That's what I said.
- Good! Maybe they'll learn to mind their own business! Will you please stop fighting? Oh, no.
Sweetie, no, we're not fighting.
We're just agreeing with each other angrily.
Here's the deal you get one night here, then you're out.
And don't ask for cookies.
She is in no mood.
Well You know who's at my place? No one.
I think I should stay here and keep an eye on these two.
It wasn't an invite.
Just something I was looking forward to.
Later.
Bye.
Did he get a haircut? It looks really nice.
So how come you're here tonight? Were you too drunk to ride your bike home, too? My father's mad 'cause I dropped out of school.
[chuckles.]
Ironic.
Sheldon's upset 'cause I'm not going back to the university.
Look at us.
A couple of dropouts.
Don't you have a PhD? Two, but I was trying to find common ground over which we could bond.
All right.
You wouldn't believe the day I had.
My dad kicked me out.
My girlfriend broke up with me.
And now I got to find a second job.
I drank hooch on a park bench and sang "Lollipop.
" It was tremendous.
I think I saw you.
Were you with some other guy? Yes.
What happened to him? [siren wails.]
OFFICER: Hey, pal, wake up.
[indistinct radio chatter.]
What's happening? You can't sleep there.
Right, sorry.
Excuse me.
You didn't happen to see a small bald man around here, did you? Possibly singing "Lollipop"? What? Lollipop, lollipop Never mind.
Lollipop, lollipop, oh, lolli, lolli, lollipop Where the hell am I?