Gintama (2005) s03e21 Episode Script

Japanese Restaurants Abroad Taste Pretty Much Like School Cafeteria Lunches / Once You've Chosen a Dish, You Can't Give it Back

[This week, after a long absence (?), it's a two-parter.
The common theme is "?????".]
[We'll reveal the answer at the end of the show!.]
So this is that place The restaurant exclusively for Amanto that recently opened.
[Beauty SHOCK Club.]
[Note: Parody of Bishoku Club a Gourmet Club from the Oishinbo manga.
.]
Yeah.
It's where discrimination against us Earthlings begins.
They say Amanto VIPs live it up all day and all night.
Tsk Let's go.
May I have your attention, everyone.
I'd like to introduce a new employee.
Let's welcome him with a round of applause.
Let's give him a hand! Okay, introduce yourself, please.
How do you do? I come from Nebula Zura78.
My name is Joey Katsura.
[Note: Parody of Joi, meaning Anti-Foreigner Faction.
.]
Please be good to me.
Isn't he an Earthling? ["Japanese Restaurants Abroad Taste Pretty Much like School Cafeteria Lunches".]
[No Earthlings Allowed!.]
No need to be concerned, everyone.
He's just a pitiful lad who's often mistaken for an Earthling because of he looks.
Isn't that right, Joi-kun? It's not Joi, it's Joey.
But I'd rather you called me Katsura.
As you know, we don't allow Earthlings.
We serve only Amanto VIPs.
Our specialty is sashimi on a boat.
How surreal.
Did you say something? Anyway, we have a reservation today by high-ranking VIPs from a royal family of a planet somewhere.
I'll need you to work hard on your first day, Joi-kun.
No, please call me Katsura.
Katsura-san! Are you serious about posing as an employee at that restaurant?! Rumor has it that radicals are targeting Amanto bigwigs at that restaurant and they're planning to blow it up with the Amanto inside! It's reckless to go in there alone! It's too dangerous! Don't worry.
It's easier if I work alone.
I will put that restaurant out of business and force it to close for sure In this case, I can understand how the radicals feel.
But if they get violent, there'll be needless casualties.
That's why, what I need to do is make the Amanto leave before the radicals do anything stupid.
Katsura-san! Katsura-san! That's reckless! Come back! [Be careful.
.]
Got that, Katsura-kun? I'm going to introduce you to your Senpai who'll oversee you.
You, step forward.
As you were.
This is Hata-koh.
Although he joined us just a week ago, he's still your Senpai, so ask him anything you need to know.
UmHave we met before? I don't remember anyone like you.
He's to be pitied, as well.
Seems he was mistaken as part of his own collection and discarded along with them.
Let's seewe don't want anything in this room.
Take them all away before that idiot returns.
If you see anything that might be of worth, leave it here.
Throw everything else out.
Damn old coot! Anyway, he'll look after you.
Try to get along.
That's right.
Ask me anything.
Joy Toy, was it? It's not Joy Toy.
It's Joey Katsura.
I can't do an S split.
[Note: Parody of Yinling of Joytoym, a swimsuit model known for her leg spread pose that looks like an M.
.]
No, he's not an S, he's an M.
He can't do S.
[Note: S&M refers to sadism/masochism.]
Yeah Don't worry.
But what if I said don't worry.
All I need to do is to set this bomb to go off after the restaurant closes.
That'll put them out of business for a while.
Hey, newcomer.
What're you doing? Give me a hand.
I was practicing my S split.
Oh, you did it.
Done.
That's a lovely sea captain.
I'll buy you anything you want.
Really? Welcome.
Stop.
Go and clean the windows or something, newcomer.
But Watch and learn.
Hey, Earthling.
This is no place for scum like you.
Tch, I'm not sitting with apes like them.
Just having Earthlings in the vicinity ruins my appetite.
Apes should eat ape food.
My eyes! Hey! What're you doing to the customer?! You know, they say the eyes are the window to the soul.
Not his eyes! And you, Hata-koh! What're you teaching him?! Joey! How useless can you be?! Do as I do! Where are you wiping?! They say the zipper is the window to the world.
Shut up! Huh? I-Itcame off? Y-Youare an Earthling? Oh, come on.
Look how easily this comes off.
See? You guys! Quit horsing around and get back to work! Why am I stuck doing this sort of work? Just as I thought, this restaurant is an ugly place where they make fun of Earthlings.
I'll revert to the original plan, and Hey newcomer, what're you doing? I got a little hungry, so I was looking for something to snack on I found dried squid, see? That's my charm point! Just curious, Senpai Why are you working at a place like this? You said you were discarded by mistake, right? Why not go home? Wellbecause John is here.
John? Yes.
John, the space lobster who lives in the restaurant's fish tank.
He's a lovable sort.
I fell in love with him the moment I saw him.
If I'm not careful, there's no telling when John might get eaten.
I can't leave him.
If everyone believed in "love and peace" and loved animals like I do, everything would be fine.
Well, I'm worried about John, so I'll go back first.
Love and peace, eh? If I detonate this, the tank and John won't survive.
It's a tiny life, but if there are casualties, then I'm no different than the radicals.
I will use my own methods to accomplish my ambition.
Wh-Who are you?! This is divine retribution! We've come to pass judgment on the likes of you who discriminate against Earthlings and undermine and ruin our country! Go repent in hell! Hmph.
Anti-Foreigner Faction samurai, eh? I figured as much.
I'm ready for you.
Uh-ohwhat's going on? If these guys start fighting here the tank and my John Darn! I didn't think the radicals would show up so soon.
Stop it! I won't allow this! You're all fools with no compassion! You mustn't injure him! Don't put a single scratch on his precious shell! If you do, I'llI'll I won't forgive you! Are you talking about Amanto lives?! Then I'll start by killing you first! What?! Huh? No moreno more bloodshedlet there be Love and peace! Ka-Katsura! S-So he was an Earthling? We are all living creatures Doing harm to any of them will not solve a thing.
I finally learned that today.
Yes From Senpai here Katsura Senpai Dammit! I paid good money to eat here! What's the meaning of this commotion?! I was having a great time after finally finding a replacement for the idiot I disposed of! Isn't that right, my new Prince? You see! The Prince is angry! Huh? That's oddthere are two Princes.
Cut it out! Damn youI'll kill you! Enough of this! I'm gonna pound you to death! Out of my way.
[Note: Katsura is talking like a mother.
.]
If that's how it is, then you guys can do whatever you want! I've had it! Mother? I must say it took a long time to get to this point.
Since joining this shop as an apprentice, Chef wouldn't let me handle a knife, so I worked the menial jobs in the kitchen.
Everyday, I diligently watched the Chef as he made sushi so I could figure out his technique.
And I practiced his technique for forming the rice.
Now finally, he's entrusted me with a branch restaurant.
This time, I'm going to succeed.
Good for you, Chef Hasegawa! Stop it, you're embarrassing me! A man should have a trade.
Your wife who ran out on you might come back now, eh? You've worked hard.
Today, I want all of you who supported me to be the first ones to try the sushi I've made.
Everything is on the house.
Eat all you want! I haven't had sushi in ages! What shall I have? Here it comes.
My, how delicious the cucumber rolls look! Shall we share some, Kagura-chan? Sure.
The next one is also a cucumber roll.
You're good at cucumber rolls, Hasegawa-san.
I think that's what I'll have.
Another one.
Oh well, cucumber rolls might be a good way to get the stomach started.
What do you think we are, vegetarians?! There are cucumber rolls from here to Gandhara! [Note: Gandhara is a location from the Journey to the West Chinese novel.
.]
Why're you being so stingy? Bring out the fatty tuna! Bring out the sea urchin! Why do you think we took precious time off to come and see someone like you?! I can't make anything but cucumber rolls.
The truth is, I don't know how to make sushi yet.
["Once You've Taken a Dish, You Can't Put it Back".]
[Edo Style Sushi-go-Round Kabukicho branch.]
So you're telling us that the story about the Chef recognizing your abilities was a lie and the truth is the Chef is in the hospital and unable to come to the restaurant, so he hired you, a part-timer, and left you in charge of the place? He said everything would be fine because there was this sushi machine, but it won't do a darned thing.
It's almost time to open for business- what should I do? This place will become the "completely hopeless sushi restaurant" Madao! Right now, all we can do is repair the sushi machine.
Take a look at it, Tama.
Understood.
What's that? Tama can communicate with machines and can find the cause of the problem so we can fix it.
[Canned oil.]
Want some? Mind if I stand here next to you? What's the matter? You look blue.
[Note: Parody of common soap opera themes among office workers.
.]
Could it be you're still bothered by the microwave oven manager? Awesome.
This is totally the scene between two female office workers.
Who's the microwave oven manager? I told you to forget about him.
That guyhas no intention of leaving his wife.
You're not the only one.
He nuked Rejiko in general affairs as well.
[Note: Rejiko means cash register.
.]
They're having quite an involved discussion.
Stop acting like a child! Don't give up.
Be strong! Don't let Tokyo-or yourself- get you down! I did all I could, but it appears unfixable.
You completely destroyed it just now! You finished it off.
Hey, what're you going to do about this? That was my only hope! There's no time left.
I'm starving.
W-Welcome.
Catherine and I will man the counter.
You follow our lead and take care of things in back.
G-Gotcha! Th-Thank you, everyone for helping me out with this.
Don't worry, Hasegawa-san.
When we need help, we help each other out, right? Leave it to us.
But you have less experience with sushi than I do- there's no way you can make sushi.
No one expects perfection at a conveyor belt sushi restaurant.
As long as there's a topping on top of a decently formed rice ball, we'll be able to fool them.
Hasegawa-san, at the very least, would you mind teaching us how to form the rice? Even if you know how to make only cucumber rolls, you did watch Chef make them, so you know how it's done, right? All right.
It was monkey see, monkey do, but watch closely.
First, you take the rice.
Be careful not to take too much.
Squeeze the rice not too hard, and not too soft, with one hand so that air gets into the rice.
Put on the wasabi, then the topping.
And the sushi.
is done.
What the?! How did that end up turning into a cucumber roll?! Something happened when we switched scenes! It's hopeless.
I can only make cucumber rolls.
You were so close just now.
You placed a slice of tuna on top.
How'd that change into a cucumber roll?! [Note: The literal translation for cucumber roll is "water imp roll.
".]
He must be cursed because his ancestors killed a water imp.
He is hopeless.
This won't do.
We'll just put Hasegawa-san in charge of cucumber rolls.
I think I got the general idea.
I feel I can at least make something that looks like sushi.
I agree.
There's no heat involved, so I'm sure even you could do it, Sis.
Shape it so air gets into the grains and add the wasabi.
Place the topping, and give it a squeeze.
I did it.
It's done.
What is that?! Why is it burned to a crisp?! When did you add heat? What did you just do? Actually, I've been a bit feverish since yesterday.
How hot are you?! Go home! Go to the hospital immediately! For your lousy head! You guys fail because you don't know what you're doing and you think too much.
You don't need masterful skill.
All we have to do is get the shape right, even if it tastes bad.
See? You get the shape right! This isn't even sushi anymore! Taste it before you complain.
Will you be able to, once you do? I won't eat it! It has the look of an entry in a pastry contest! All right, we'll put Gin-san's parfait and my toasted rice ball on the side menu.
That's not a toasted rice ball.
It's a burnt corpse.
Ow! Kagura-chan, what're you doing? What do you think of this? Ohhh! Now this That's awesome, Kagura-chan! It's a perfect piece of sushi! It's sushi no matter how you look at it! This would be all right to serve in the restaurant, don't you think? No, it's too big.
Where did you get a slice of tuna this huge?! It's been my dream to bite into a huge sushi.
You're not supposed to make it for yourself.
Where in the world are you going to find someone who can eat this?! We have an order for egg roll and shrimp! What're we going to do? We still don't have any finished sushi except cucumber rolls.
Let me handle this.
Tama-san! I have sufficient data on sushi.
Would you please ready the ingredients? She ate it?! No.
ShShe's! Done.
We can't serve that! How gross can you get?! Are you King Piccolo?! That's mostly vomit! [Note: Refers to a Dragonball character.
.]
A robot does not vomit.
I simply prepared the sushi inside my body.
There's something gooey all over it! That's oil.
This is no time for talk.
Regardless of how it was made, this looks the most decent.
I'll save you the trouble- I'm putting it out.
Just a minute! Wait! Delicious! [Note: Customers are parodies of Kaibara Yuzan and Yamaoka Shiro of Oshinbo manga.
.]
What is this new texture? It has a flavor I've never tasted before! Thick and smooth, yet not overpowering! What is this?! It's a revolutionary new sushi! Hey! I want the same thing! Me, too! Same here! The same! It's a miracle.
A miracle happened.
We can do this! This is going to work! Keep her spitting them out! Keep her fed and keep her spitting them out! Bring all the ingredients we have in the restaurant! This is incredible! The plates are flying off the line! There's a long line out front, too! We did it! We've done it! Hasegawa-san! With so many customers, we're running low on ingredients.
What?! Dammit.
This was my chance to make it big.
How much of a Madao can I be?! Go.
You go and do whatever it takes to gather up ingredients.
We'll hold down the fort here until you get back.
Hurry and go! I'm counting on you! Toshi, what's with this place? I came because I heard this was a conveyor belt sushi restaurant, but the only things on the belt are cucumber rolls.
The guys said this place was cheap and delicious.
Was it bull? The attitude of the staff is the worst.
What's with them? I'm going to tell them off.
Don't, Toshi.
Let's eat our meal quietly.
What's with that melting parfait? Why're they sending it around? Keep it chilled.
Hey, Toshi, what's that? Could that be dark matter? Why would dark matter be spinning on the belt alongside cucumber rolls? It's 300 yen.
What should I do? Should I take it, Toshi? Never mind the dark matter.
When's the flatfish filet sushi I ordered going to show up? [Flat Curry.]
What was that just now? What's curry doing in a sushi shop? Didn't it have "flat curry" written on it? Toshi, maybe that's your order.
No, it's not.
What I ordered was flatfish filet.
Well, yeah, but [Flat Curry Filet.]
Toshi, after one cycle, it's getting a little closer.
No, it's not.
I ordered flatfish filet.
[Flat Curry Filet on Flat Board.]
Hey, it's gotten to "flat curry filet on flat board.
" This has to be yours.
I didn't order curry, I ordered flatfish.
[Hurry up and take the curry, stupid.
.]
Who're they calling stupid, dammit?! Hey, it's totally sending you a message.
Hmph.
I'm not taking it.
Why do I have to eat curry at a sushi restaurant? Anyway, what's keeping my ika? I haven't seen it at all.
[Note: "Ika" means squid.
.]
Hey, wasn't that Ikazo Sandaime? Could that be your order, Kondo-san? No, it's not.
I ordered ika, not Ikazo Sandaime.
Maybe not, but he's giving you the eye.
No.
Don't look at him! He's stuck.
Ikazo's stuck.
He's stuck but he's still looking this way.
Ikazo's looking this way! What's with this place? Let's go home.
This is creepy.
I don't get this place.
Hey! Ikazo's bringing curry! He intends to force us to eat both of them! Stop! Isn't it delicious? Wait for me, everyone! I'll be there soon! [Preview.]
Can I do it, Senpai? Cattle abduction? Sure, go ahead.
Hey! Give me back my analog stick! The next episode "Novices Only Need a Flathead and a Phillips.
" [Beings from the planet Gamer arrive at summer's end.
The Odd Jobs are modified one after another!.]
[What? What were the hidden words? The common theme was "giving up.
".]

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