Beelzebub (2011) s01e04 Episode Script

There Is One Second Before the Demon Lord's Floods Burst Forth

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was a barbaric, ruthless, and defiant, demon-like bastard who thought nothing of his fellow man.
What? Why the hell are you crying all of a sudden? He is sleepy and irritable.
If you're really his parent, then you should realize this.
If he's tired, he should just sleep! If that line of thinking worked, it would not be such a struggle to raise a child.
Now hurry and put the master to sleep.
If you do not This is a story of a high school juvenile delinquent who, through some strange circumstances, is raising a baby.
But this baby is no ordinary baby.
It is a baby Demon Lord! There Is 1 Second Before the Demon Lord's Floods Burst Forth The ocean? What is this? A dream? Yeah, definitely a dream.
That's it.
I'm going to wake up, and Baby Beel will have wet my bed again.
That old joke.
Man First he cries all night, now he wets the bed? Wake up, me! Then after changing the sheets, go to sleep again! You hear me, me? The hell? Awake? A fine morning, yes? Master is peeing quite splendidly.
Peeing? Worry not.
It is not unclean.
On the contrary, it is urine imbued with holy magical powers one should give thanks for The great urination comes each year around this time, and in the Demon World it is a seasonal attraction.
After a city is drowned in the flood, the amount of fertile land increases.
The first step in destroying humanity, yes? This ain't a joke! Humanity is being peed to extinction? And how long are you gonna just sleep there? Your peeing is incredible as always, Master! Floating Floating Floating Float and stop! Hey, where are you taking me? Wait, this is I simply wished to show Furuichi-sama this splendid urination! It brings back memories, yes Back in the Demon World, my daughter and I would often amuse ourselves floating downurine You go tubing down uriine?! Help me! Hey.
Do something about this flood already.
Humans, honestly So be it.
What the heck? Ooh, how fierce! It is an item from the Demon World which temporarily sends his pee into an alternate dimension.
It is called "Peebeegone".
The end sounds cutsey.
But it's just a joke, right? Joke, no joke, it doesn't matter.
This way, the city can stay above water level.
No, it will flood.
Although it is an alternate dimension, it is not infinite.
It will last only 2 to 3 hours.
What?! Can't we just replace it with a new one? There's no spare.
What?! You people just can't accept your fate.
You should be spending this time deciding which city to drown.
Alrighty then! You, shut the hell up! Okay, he's calmed down for now, but the Baby Beel dam is gonna burst at any time! We cannot let down our guard.
Thankfully, no one is home today at my place.
Right now we need to come up with a plan.
We've got rip off our brains! You mean, wrack our brains! Rip them off! Uh, whatever you say, but don't involve me in it.
But you're the only one I can count on! You got a good idea, right? No, I don't! And I don't wanna come up with one! You'd better come up with one! Come up with one, or its comin' out, got it? That's not even close to funny! What's with that face? Furuichi, you idiot! You're okay letting Japan sink into an ocean of pee? Shut it! You're the damn parent, so you do something! My baby pees so much, I don't know what to do! You're the damn parent, so you do something! My baby pees so much, I don't know what to do! No leaks for 10 hours, no matter the amount! With the mystical diapers "Daipies", your baby will be safe and sound! I'm not scared of leaks anymore! Daipies! That's it! The news continues.
There has just been an armed bank robbery Furuichi, you handle cleaning up the house! Wait, what do you mean What should I do with everything soaked like this? Fix it back up like it was! Countin' on ya! And wait Normal diapers aren't gonna work, obviously.
Just you wait, Baby Beel! They said no leaks, no matter the amount! Sheesh He's such a simpleton.
Wait, this is manga I lent him! You're going to help him? Well, a little bit.
'Cause he's a friend, you know.
Ooh, I was totally cool back there! Even if it's your job, it must be difficult raising a baby with that idiot Right, Hilda? That's so right! He's such a total nincompoop, you know? What are we to do with him? And with that, Hilda-san's heart will be mine! Job? Do not degenerate it! You dare to make a mockery of my devotion to my master? A demon maidservant is just as the name says: A demon born with the sole purpose of serving her master.
The person we serve, and the place we serve at, are all decided prior to our birth.
Do you understand? My existence itself has no other meaning than serving Master Beel! It is no mere job! I'm going after him! Wait! What am I saying to some human? Everything according to my master's will.
That is how it is, yes? Please, wait, Hilda-san! Welcom Oh, it's Oga-chan! What's up? I'm looking for mystical diapers And who are you? Oh, you mean diapies? Those got all popular on the internet after people posted about them on Chirper.
So we don't have any in stock right now.
You ain't got any? If you're looking for diapers, we have plenty of other brands.
Take a look at the different kinds.
Smileypants You were quite impressive back then, Oga-chan.
About what? I hear Kanzaki-kun is going to take a month to heal fully.
But after that, things are gonna get busy.
Since you did in one of Ishiyama's TKKH.
Huh? You didn't know? Those are the 4 great powers at our school.
Tojo, Kunieda, Kanzaki, and Himekawa.
By taking the first letter of each of their names, you make the Ishiyama TKKH.
How about this one, Baby Beel? Yeah, no kidding.
These sure ain't mystical diapers to me.
Sheesh How about these? Stay calm! If you don't, you're dead meat! Hilda-san! What? This is all the hostages we got? What the hell is going on?! According to the report we've just received, the armed suspects who robbed Ishiyama Bank escaped and are holed up in a nearby drug store! They've taken hostages! We bring you a live report We're reporting live from the scene.
Ishiyama Drug We're reporting live from the scene.
According to the information we have, inside the store were 2 high school students, one cosplaying female, and what is believed to be a baby.
Oh, my Oga-chan and the gang are caught up inside Damn it! We're surrounded by cops! This is your fault for takin' your sweet time! Well, as long as we have hostages, they can't make their move so easy.
Okay, people.
Don't go thinking anything stupid like puttin' up a fight.
Armed robbery, grand larceny, property damage Six crimes in all! We're the criminal group that does every kind of evil deed! Oyama! Ryuzaki! Zenkou! Sannomiya! And that makes our name: orz3! Speed groveling! Right! Speed grovel! Wait! No, you dumbass! Anyway, you're our hostages until we're well on our way to Hong Kong! Get out of line and we'll blast you full of holes.
This is serious! guys are bad to the bone! Did you say bad? Gotta think of a way to escape Think, Furuichi Takayuki, the one they call the strategist of Ishiyama! Hey! What are you doing, Oga? You idiot If they're such bad dudes, I can dump Baby Beel onto them! What's with you? I thought we said not to move.
So how bad are you? Huh? You're robbers right? I asked ya just how evil you are.
You sure got a big mouth on you, huh? What're you getting worked up about some kid for? I like the look in your eyes.
You got guts.
Reminds me of when I was younger.
Fine then! We'll tell you, for your own future! Yes, please do.
I'm sure you're all amazing.
Oyama! When I was your age, I was quite the rebel.
I took all the windows in the school and shattered 'em like this! And then, with the shards of glass, I I'd get rid of extra hairs, like this Is that evil? Honestly speaking Kind of weak.
Are you an idiot? We don't need any bank robbers bragging about their follicle maintenance! No mercy! Ryuzaki! Back in my juvenile delinquent days, there wasn't anyone who could touch me! Why, you ask? Because I'm from the bowels of delinquency, Ishiyama High School! Oh! I'm also from Ishiyama.
Really? No wonder I thought your face looked bad-ass.
How's Ishiyama doin' lately? In my time, the Big Four was the Tanekin Trio.
The Big Four was a trio? No, see Takamizawa, Nemoto, Kindaichi, Torioka If you take the first parts of their names, you get "TaNeKin Torio" And that Kindaichi guy, despite being in high school, was always so showy and greased up He got the nickname Tellin' old stories? Don't go gettin' carried away! Zenkou! Each and every one of you is all about the past Pitiful.
Listen up.
I'm a thief that specializes in metal.
I steal things like fences and manhole covers and sell them for cash.
Just a bit before, I did me quite a job.
I stole an entire steel tower! Steel tower? One of the towers disappeared by the river, right? That was my doing.
Sorry, but actually that was me.
Hey, do you think they might actually really fail at evil? Enough! You guys, stay put! You know how you go and rob a bank? I'll teach you.
The second you enter the bank you shove a gun through the window, And you threaten them to give you money like this! Zenkou, how's it look outside? Not much activity! Hey, Baby Beel! What is with this kid? Baby Beel! Don't move! I told you not to move, you! Get off! Fine, perfect.
I'll be takin' this baby.
What?! With a baby as a hostage, the cops ain't gonna do anything stupid.
I can carry 'im with one hand, so he won't get in the way.
And he can't fight back.
Now that I think about it, this is the best possible hostage! Oga, you did it! Even if you don't ask this guy, he's gonna take him away! Right Yeah If he really takes Baby Beel to Hong Kong with him, Japan will be saved from the flood! Wow Oga, for you, that's good thinking! Well, duh! Be a good boy and don't cry anymore, okay? All my kids are little hellspawns Give in to one of their demands, and they'll never let up! I see.
Well, just relax.
I'm countin' on you becoming his mother.
Yes, Great Demon Lord.
What the hell is this baby? There are many contracts that are needed for you to become the parent of the Demon Lord.
Do you have that conviction? Parent of the Demon Lord? In order to destroy humanity, your role is to become a catalyst to draw out the master's power.
Mow down cities, destroy entire nations Help extinguish all remaining traces of humanity.
That is the role of the Demon Lord's parent.
Sounds interesting! If I get out of here, I'll be the Demon Lord's parent or whatever! B-Boss, I think this might be dangerous! That woman ain't normal! You're seriously gonna take that baby with you? I said shut it, you! When I ain't got any more use for him, I'll just ditch him! Then I will take you to Hong Kong, just as you wish.
Akubaba! Interesting! Let's go, people! Hold it a sec.
Why, you I think you should go all by yourselves.
No holding back for robbers either! Master? Master! Baby Beel! Fast It broke already? Three hours sure fly by Do something, would you? Your supposed to act like his mother, right? I'm countin on you becoming his mother.
Great Demon Lord Aww I thought I'd finally saved Japan.
Grab on.
We'll fly to the ocean.
Shouldn't you just have done this from the start? Silence.
I'll push you off.
Great Demon Lord I do not understand this man.
However, it may be too early to come to a conclusion.
We're home! Tatsumi, we brought you Um Who are you? Himekawa, one of Ishiyama's TKKH, is not just strong, he's crazy rich! How rich is he? Commoners like us can't even fathom it.
Like, he only takes one bite from the best part of a watermelon.
And then he throws the rest away! Like that.
On the next Beelzebub: There is Nothing Money Can't Buy! Don't waste food!