Katekyo Hitman Reborn! (2006) s01e09 Episode Script

Short Life Skull Disease

1 Okay, now it's my turn! Oh no you don't! Sure is peaceful Boss, over to you! Boss! Are you okay, boss? Are you hurt? Ow How dare they hit the boss! What moron made that pass?! Uh, that'd be you.
Don't die on me, boss! I'm fine I just wasn't paying attention.
Huh? I'm so embarrassed! I've never kicked a soccer ball before! Huh? Did someone say something? Wh-What the heck is this skull? I'm so embarrassed! I thought the World Cup was a type of ramen! I-It's talking! Target 9 Life-shortening Skullitis Life-shortening Skullitis.
Namimori Town Station You there, senorita with the long hair What a sinner! Your eyes have shot me straight through the heart.
Care to grab a cup of tea? Oh, you there, mademoiselle! Your lips are peach and cherry! Oh! You there, miss! What's your problem, pal? You need something? Let's go on a date! I guarantee you won't be bored.
Sure are a lot of weirdos around lately.
Wait! Miss! What is this thing? It is Reborn! It's a sign that you've caught a fatal illness called Skullitis.
You're going to die.
I'm what?! Why are you being so dang creepy? Are you some kind of grim reaper? I can see the signs of your impending death Shut up! Stop screwing around! I'm not screwing around.
Do you remember how many Deathperation Shots you've taken in the head, Tsuna? Huh? H-How many? Um Ten.
They say if you've taken ten Deathperation Shots to the head, something terrible will happen.
I didn't think it would be Skullitis, though.
What a shame.
Yours was a short and miserable life.
Don't end my life so easily! And why didn't you tell me about something as important as that? If I'd known No, never mind.
I'm going home.
If you'd known, what? Even if I'd known, I still would've let myself be shot.
You're taking this better than I expected.
Of course I am, because I don't believe I've got some fatal illness.
This'll wash off with a bit of water.
What the heck? It's not coming off! I'm so embarrassed! I get sick on the swing-set! There's another one! I'm so embarrassed! I'm still afraid to stand on top of the slide! Skullitis is a disease where skulls appear all over your body and tell your worst secrets, until you die.
It's also called the "shame you to death" disease.
Th-That's impossible I'm so embarrassed! I skip school on days when we have to get shots! I'm so embarrassed! I bit my tongue in my sleep! Stop it! Shut up! No one else knows those shameful secrets of yours, right? Y-Yeah So this is a real disease? Isn't that what I said? By the way, you die two hours after it first manifests.
So you have until sunset, I guess.
No way! I don't want to die yet! And I have to hear about how much of a loser I am until then? Don't worry, they'll keep talking even after you're dead.
I'm so embarrassed! I fainted in the haunted house at school! I'm so embarrassed! I'm so embarrassed! I'm called "Loser Tsuna" even by a kindergartner! Loser Loser Loser Isn't it great? There'll be tons of laughs at your funeral.
It's not great at all! Save me, Reborn! I can't.
No way! This sucks! My life sucks! There is one way you can survive, though.
Huh? What did you say? A doctor I know specializes in incurable illnesses.
If he treats you, you might survive.
Why didn't you say so? Call him, now! Not if you're going to be rude about it.
Please, Reborn-sama! Mr.
Stylish Hitman! Please, call that doctor! If you survive, will you score within the top ten in your grade on the next test? He's taking advantage of me! If you don't want to try I will! I will! I swear I will! What? Who's that? Who's fallen victim to poison cooking? That's Dr.
Shamal.
I called him over from Italy.
I've done my first good deed in a while.
Bianchi! Wait, if the doctor dies, doesn't that mean I'm a goner? You're kidding me You're still a tomboy, I see.
He's alive! That was close.
That's how girls should be.
I love you even more now! Die.
Geez, you're so shy.
Stay away! As you can see, he's a womanizer and incorrigible kisser.
This guy can heal incurable diseases? Are you sure he's even a doctor? Yeah.
He's helped me out in the past.
What? You?! Was it a fatal illness or something? Shamal was the one who delivered me at birth.
At your birth?! Shamal, this is Tsuna.
He has Skullitis.
Ah, yeah.
That's why you called me, isn't it? Sorry about this.
I tend to get a bit distracted at times.
H-Hello Excuse me.
What is it? This isn't good.
It's too late? No, I just don't treat men.
Right, I forgot about that.
How could you forget?! Nothin' wrong with a doctor only treating women, is there? Wait a second! You're going to let me die for such a petty reason?! There's nothing petty about it! It's a big deal.
Shamal-san, please save me! I don't want to die yet! Especially in such a pathetic way Hey, you're a man, don't hug me! It pisses me off! I've seen a million patients, but none of 'em were men.
None.
No exceptions.
Never have been, never will be.
No You poor thing.
Bianchi! I'm so embarrassed! I'm in middle school and I'm still scared to go to the bathroom at night! You're laughing? You'd laugh in a situation like this? Bianchi-chan! Back off! Wait! Wait, Doctor! Good luck.
You're running out of time.
Bianchi-chan If I can draw him away from Tsuna like this If you catch me, I'll give you as many kisses as you want! Seriously? Bianchi! What are you thinking? Are you trying to keep him from healing me so you can go back to Italy with Reborn? S-Scary H-Hi.
Wait! Are you the one who's been stealing my persimmons? No, I've never- I'm so embarrassed! I once fell from a persimmon tree and ripped my pants! You hear that? You're gonna get such a talking to, young man! I don't have time for this He finally let me go But where's Shamal-san? Hey, look where the heck you're walkin'! B-Boss! Wake up, boss! G-Gokudera-kun? Shamal? That pervert? You know him? Yeah, he came by our place a lot.
Oh, I see! Maybe you can ask him for me! If you don't, I won't make it to nightfall I'm so embarrassed! I once put my underwear on backward and wet my pants! I heard nothing.
He definitely heard what it said.
Is it good? Is there octopus in it? Shall I help you eat it? Refused! These are I-Pin's! Hold it in Hey, did Bianchi come this way? I-Pin did not see her.
What about you, Lambo? You must You must get Lambo-san takoyaki! Or else I won't tell you! You stupid little cow! Don't try to be smart!! Takoyaki! Fine, I'll buy you some.
So, where did Bianchi go? More.
More! That's enough, okay? Which way did Bianchi go? Tell us already! Well? I haven't seen her today.
I wasted my precious time! Why you- Wait, Bianchi-chan! Boss! Bianchi-chan! Shamal-san! Wait! Now I want cotton candy! Gimme! Gimme! Stop that, Lambo! I-Pin will help! In any way she can! Thank you! If you catch him, I'll buy you takoyaki or whatever you want.
He's mine! The cotton candy will be mine! Mr.
Pervert captured! Who are these kids? Shamal-san! Hey, it's Hayato.
Yo.
Yo.
I mean, fix up the boss already! I've told you guys, I don't work with men.
Don't be like that! Save me, please! I'm so embarrassed! I once spent a whole day with takoyaki bits in my teeth! I've seen this before It's the countdown for the Mahjongg Mega Bomb! Hey, get away from the boss! Wait! Boss, you can't hang around here.
I know that, but Hey, Tsuna.
You need to hurry, you don't have much time left.
R-Reborn! Ouch You stupid old lech! Heal the boss! Geez, you're persistent.
I only treat women.
If Shamal heals that kid, I won't be able to go back to Italy with Reborn.
Knock it off, Hayato.
Sis Bianchi-chan! Shut up! Bianchi, wait! Gokudera-kun, are you okay? B-Boss! Don't worry about me, follow him! R-Right.
Hey, it's Gokudera-san! H-Haru! Good timing.
Catch him.
The boss's life is at stake.
Okay! Leave it to me! Poison Cooking: Slippery Mud Balls! All right.
To save Tsuna-san's life, I'll use my Love-Love Destroyer Attack! Got you! H-Haru Ts-Tsuna-san? But Gokudera-san told me to catch you Him! Catch that guy! He's the only one who can cure me.
Just wait, Tsuna-san! I'll catch him for you! Time to find a place to sleep.
I'll come back to Bianchi tomorrow.
What is this? Hold it! By order of Tsuna-san, I am going to catch and get you! You'll never escape! You're cute! I'll give you a kiss! What? I need to hurry, before the sun sets! Haru! Tsuna-san! Tsuna-san! This person is very dangerous! Haru, run away! Right! I'll take Shamal! Wait for me! What? You again? Shamal-san, please! Cure me! I told you, I don't treat men.
Please! It's useless.
Tsuna Sawada.
Lived a short life, which ended with the setting sun.
When did you get here? And is now the time for Haiku? Tsuna-kun! Kyoko-chan! What are you doing? Um, just a walk Oh! Are you into body-painting? No, this is No! Don't look! I'm so embarrassed! I'm short, but when we all sit down I'm the tallest person in the class! Tsuna Sawada.
Lived a short short life, and was also a midget.
Too many syllables That's funny! Hey, little lady.
You're cute! Let me kiss you! Hey you! Stay away from Kyoko-chan, please! Why? It's got nothing to do with you! It does! Even though you'll die in five minutes? What?! That funny man's saying some strange things.
See? She likes me.
The kiss is almost on my lips.
No! If I die now, Kyoko-chan will fall into Shamal's clutches! Anything but that! A-Anything but that I can't let that happen! I'd rather die than I should've taken out the evil bug that's going after her like my life depended on it Tsuna's trying to go into Deathperation Mode without a Deathperation Shot.
I'll protect Kyoko-chan like my life depends on it! I'm so embarrassed! I used to call elevators "evalators!" I'm so embarrassed! I can't get the timing right to go on a descending escalator! You're funny, Tsuna-kun! See you tomorrow at school! Yeah.
Tomorrow I guess I don't have a tomorrow.
But that's okay.
I got to see Kyoko-chan just before the end.
I'm so embarrassed, but so happy! I've never spoken that much to a girl I liked in my life! Yeah, that's true.
Geez, Tsuna's a loser, a coward and a weakling.
That's right! I'm a total loser! So what?! I'm going to die as Loser Tsuna! Just leave me alone! Fine, fine.
I'll heal you.
Stay still.
Really? You mean it? But you don't have any medicine or tools I have the tools and medicine right here.
I've always been very vulnerable to bacteria and viruses.
Right now, I'm infected with 666 incurable diseases.
I'm alive and moving because two exactly opposite diseases will cancel each other out.
For instance, the disease that gives me a fever has a counterpart that lowers my temperature.
No way By the way, the illness that's the opposite of Skullitis is Angelitis.
This.
Go! Trident Mosquito! A mosquito? Shamal is normally a doctor, but he's also a hitman named Trident Shamal.
He kills his targets by using a mosquito called the "Trident Mosquito," which carries 666 different fatal diseases.
Scary! Go for it, Angel Mosquito! Whoa, it's sucking my blood.
Hate There, all cured.
Thank you, Dr.
Shamal! Try enjoying your life.
Why did you suddenly decide to heal Tsuna? I just felt sorry for him.
The skull said he'd never talked with the girl he liked that much, right? It was only three minutes! Three! How can you not sympathize with that? Yeah, it's pretty sad, huh? Leave me alone! Ciao-su! We've decided to pick who'll be in charge of babysitting Lambo.
Lambo-san doesn't need anything like that! Very unconvincing! He needs care! Next time: Gahaha! The Exploding Lunch Box!